Jane Doe and the Boy Who Lived
by ardnasak
Summary: Meet Jane Doe. She's new to Hogwarts. And she's not normal. She tells off proffs, begins her schooling in her fourth year, and somehow knows the boy who lived. Follow her in her first year at Hogwarts and watch her maneuvers friends, proffs, and Harry.
1. Chapter 1

"But he's my friend!" Lily protested

"No, he isn't. He's a Slytherin. And a Death Eater." James responded – determined and authoritative

"James, he has been my friend for nearly a decade. I can't not invite him!"

"He is not your friend. You're a _mudblood _to him."

"You don't know –"She sighed, stopping mid-sentence, "He didn't mean that. He was mad at _you_ not at me."

"But it doesn't change what he said."

Lily knew that on some level her fiancé was right. But she didn't want to, couldn't let herself, give in.

"Maybe he wouldn't have said it if you weren't such a royal prat. Did you really need to be that cruel to him?"

"I was _not _cruel!"

"Yes. You were. Why do you think I hated you so much?"

James paused, taking in her last statement. For a moment his face was sombre, almost apologetic. Slowly though, a grin spread across his face. His eyes met hers, defiant.

"You never actually hated me."

"How would you know? You didn't know me then. He did. He was my friend then, still is."

"He's not coming to my wedding."

"_Our _wedding. He's important to me. You get all your friends and family there, but mine won't be – not that that's your fault. I want what few people I have to be there. Can't you understand that?"

"Severus Snape is not coming to my wedding, and that is final."

She looked at him. Saw his cockiness. His inability to realize his faults. She sighed, turned to walk away but paused.

"Yes James, I did hate you. And you being so, so—" She was at a loss for words. "Uggghhh. When you get like this, it reminds me why I did. And it makes it hard for me to not hate you."

Lily turned from her fiancé once more and exited the room.

* * *

Lily sat staring at the bottle in front of her. Closing her eyes she breathed in the scent of tobacco and alcohol. Why hadn't James come after her? Why didn't he chase her? Why- _No. Stop it. __Stop thinking about the fight._ She brought the bottle to her lips and swallowed the remnants of the liquid inside of it. Blurring her eyes she faced towards the barkeeper, raising her bottle to indicate that she was ready for another. She didn't want to look to closely at anything here. _ Not the bar. Not your life. _

The barkeeper took the empty bottle from her and handed her a fresh one. She nodded her thanks without making eye contact.

_It wasn't even that important. It isn't like Severus is out there lamenting over me. James is right. He isn't my friend. Then why am I here? _

Lily turned from her seat at the bar to face the other patrons. She was not expecting to see anyone she knew. This wasn't the type of place that they frequented. This was the type of place that people like Severus frequented. But Severus wasn't there. No one she knew was there. Lily was alone.

Disappointed, she rotated her bar stool to once again face the blurred and undistinguished bar. _I should go home. I should go to James. No – I came here for a reason. I should find Severus and invite him to my wedding. God that's so stupid. He hates James, and probably me too. He wouldn't want to come. He would be offended at the prospect of it. But if I don't then James is right. __Uggh__, that__ would be horrible. "Hi honey, you were right and I am a complete idiot. Can we please just go and get married so that I never have to think for myself again?!"No. I can't go back to him. Not right now. Not yet._

"What are _you _doing here?"

At the sound of the address she was startled. In the instant that followed she was relieved, the deep, sly voice was familiar. But then she realized that it wasn't – at least not as familiar as she would have liked it to be.

"I thought it would be obvious." She snarled, turning to face him as she lifted her bottle in the air.

"Women like you don't drink in places like this."

Lily contemplated the comment. Then she contemplated the man that the comment had come from. Then, she contemplated James. _Arrogant bastard.__ Thinks he knows everything. Well, he doesn't. He doesn't know Severus and he doesn't know me. _

She turned to the man that had sat down next to her. He was smirking at her. _He's just as bad as James. He's just like James. _There had always been something about him that drew her towards him. She had never been able to put her finger on it.

Grinning, she looked at him, placed her finger on his nose.

"Maybe I'm not the kind of a woman you think I am."

* * *

_No. It can't be. __Just no.__ I refuse to accept it. _

_But God, how could this happen?_

_James – he loves me so much. He is going to be my husband. What would he do if he found out? This would hurt him. And yeah, he can be a jerk, but he doesn't deserve this. I don't deserve this. I am supposed to be worrying about my dress and whether to go with white, off-white, strapless, corseted, ball-gown, or whatever. I should be thinking about taffeta. Not this. _

_How could I tell him? _

_I can't. I can't tell him. But I need to tell someone. Who? __Sirius?__ He's James' best friend. He would hate me forever. And make James do the same. __Remus?__ No. He owes me. He'd be more understanding. But he's still James' friend. I couldn't put him – wouldn't put him – into that kind of situation. Peter? No, I couldn't tell him. He'd tell James immediately. He needs James' friendship too much to risk it like this. Severus? No. Not Severus. He – he would probably take it worse than James. Besides, he isn't my friend. Not anymore. _

_God.__ There is no one. What can I do? How can I – I can't. I can't tell anybody. No one can find out. _

_I need to leave. __Now._

_I can't get rid of it. I couldn't live with myself if I did. _

_But I can fix it. I just need the right spells. And a little bit of time and space. _


	2. Chapter 2

Albus Dumbledore made his way down the sidewalk, shuffling in his uncomfortable surroundings. Litter was strewn about on the ground – newspapers, empty coffee cups, wrappings, and other miscellaneous items that he did not want to spend time thinking about. The night was warm. He looked up, hoping for a glance at the stars and moon, but only received a view of a flickering streetlamp. If the stars were out tonight they couldn't see what it was like here. There was a layer of fog between the ground and the sky far too dense to see through, either way.

He suddenly realized that he was alone. Normally this wouldn't cause him anxiety, but considering his surroundings he quickened his pace. He was calm under pressure of magical war, in battles and the threat of death, but that's because he knew that world. This world was as alien to him as anything could possibly be.

The old man started subtly as a couple tore their way out of a door and, ignoring Albus while groping each other, made their way into the alley next to the building they had exited from. Albus turned his head from the scene and continued down the sidewalk, not at all comforted by their presence.

After several minutes of rapidly walking he finally found what he was looking for. He entered the building through a thick metal door that he had to push to get through. Once inside the smell of alcohol, urine, and something vaguely familiar yet undistinguishable swept over him. Overcoming the urge to vomit, he made his way through the thinning crowd to the center of the room. Normally when he acted the way he was acting now people noticed him, but not the people at this place. The people here were used to actively not noticing their surroundings.

Ignored by all except the barman who glanced at him with scepticism, Albus scanned the room. Couples, old and young, somehow, ill-fitting littered the booths and tables. A larger group of people sat around a table cackling quietly as the passed around a cigarette. Then finally he found her. At the far end of the bar, half hidden in shadow. Dirty blonde, unkempt hair straggled down her back to just beneath her shoulders. He frame was hunched over the bar, a drunk's foetal position. She was alone.

He made his way over to her.

"Is this seat taken?"

At the sound of his voice, her body shifted its weight from being cowered over to sitting fully upright. She flipper her hair over her shoulder, propped her elbow on the bar, rested her cheek on her fist and faced him. In the moment that it took her to respond, he had the distinct feeling that she was examining him.

"It is now." She said, smirking at him.

He sat down, even more uncomfortable with his new-found proximity to her than he had been outside. But he had come here for a reason.

Albus stole a look at the woman sitting next to him. She was staring at him, and not making an effort to hide it. It was hard to look at her. Her glare was startlingly piercing. And there was something ghostly familiar about their shape and colour. Despite their acuteness and brilliant sheen, there was something fake about them and their stare. There was something dull and dead behind them.

He contemplated ordering a drink, but decided against it as he stole a glance at the working surface. He would have to cut to the chase.

"I have a proposition for you." He said before turning to look at her.

She was still staring at him. The smirk had widened.

"Well, you're a little older than my norm. But we could give it a go. What – exactly – did you have in mind?"

For a moment the look shared between them paralyzed Albus. There was something very wrong about this situation, about this conversation, this girl. He looked at her face, paying attention to the details. He knew she was young, but the only way in which he could tell was from the lack of wrinkling on her face. Her eyes held more wisdom than most people twice her age. More knowledge, more experience. He had to tear his eyes away from them. He forced the words from his mouth.

"You're not my type." He said, feeling uncomfortable. "What are you doing for the next four years?"

* * *

Jane sat in the undistinguished middle of the Gryffindor table waiting for the rest of the seats to be taken. _This is so stupid. I am not supposed to be here. I don't fit in with these people._ She started to get up to leave, but before she could, the doors opened and dozens of students started making their way through them. The steam of students rushed past her, forcing her back in their seat. _Good God, they're just kids._

She sat in silence, eyes wide, body hunched over the table as the room around her filled. Soon the seats immediately next to her were occupied. The conversations replaced the air above and around her. Without realizing it her breath had quickened. _I can't do this. I can't. I need to not be here._ She raised her head to look for an escape from the mass that had suddenly swallowed her, but stopped short. Gazing directly at her across the table was an awkward looking brunette boy.

"Are you okay?"

As he spoke his front teeth jutted out of his mouth. They really were rather ridiculous. Although she had heard him, she had forgotten what he had said. His teeth had distracted her.

"I'm sorry?"

The calmness of her voice surprised her. She had felt certain that the only thing she would be capable of vocalizing would be a squeaky scream. At the sound of her tone, she felt relieved. _I may not be able to rely on my mind, but at least my mouth won't let me down._

"I asked if you were okay." The boy repeated

"Oh. Uhh, yeah. I suppose that I am little intimidated, but it's nothing that I can't handle. Thanks."

The boy looked at her with unabashed curiosity.

"Are you _new_ here?" He asked

"Yes, actually. I am."

"I didn't realize that Hogwarts accepted transfer students."

"Oh, I didn't transfer."

"Then how did you get in?"

"Well, Dumbledore came to me this summer, explained to me about my abilities, and invited me to come to Hogwarts."

"Dumbledore himself came to see you?"

"Yeah."

"Wow, that's a big deal. He's the Headmaster you know."

"Yeah, he mentioned that."

The boy seemed slightly offended for a moment at her curt response. For some reason unidentifiable by her, Jane felt compelled to sooth him. She smiled at him. The boy sighed contentedly and continued the conversation.

"So you have never had any magical training?"

"Uh, no."

"So what year are you in then?"

"Well, I had to do some tests with the professors this past month or so, and the decided to place me in the fourth year."

"Oh. That's, well, I don't know what that is. I'm in fourth year too."

"Oh."

"I'm Neville by the way."

"Hi, Neville. It's nice to meet you. I'm Jane."

"So, you're in fourth year here."

"Yup."

"But you aren't fourteen, are you? I mean, you look older."

Jane paused a moment. The question was so much more complicated than he thought it was.

"Actually I don't know how old I am. The best guess is somewhere between fifteen and twenty."

"How do you not know how old you are?"

"I was raised by a lot of different foster families. I moved often. My records got lost somewhere along the way. Dumbledore says that that's why I haven't been here before now. Apparently I was supposed to come here when I was eleven."

"Oh. You know, I don't think that any student has ever come here before without any kind of training. Even muggle-borns generally have some understanding of magic."

"Muggle-borns?"

"Witches and wizards who are born from non-magical parents."

"Oh." Jane cringed. _I know nothing of this world._

"Who's your friend Neville?"

Jane and Neville turned to see a pair of boys slightly older than Neville force their way into the seats on either side of Jane, pushing their former occupants down the row.

"This is Jane. Jane, this is Fred and George."

"Hi." She said looking between the boys.

"You're new." Said the one on her right.

"Yes. I am." She responded.

"We don't generally get new students at Hogwarts." Said the one on her left.

"So I'm told." She said, glancing and smiling at Neville.

"You'll be needing someone to look out for you." Said the one on her right suggestively.

_Good God. Is he hitting on me? _

"Ah – " The sound came out of her mouth before she could form a response to his statement.

"Actually, you'll probably be needing some good friends to look out for you." Said the one on her left just as suggestively as the other.

"Fortunately for you —" Began the one on her left,

"we are the foremost experts on Hogwarts life." Finished the one on her right.

Between the two redheads, Jane began to feel pressured.

"I bet you are."

She looked at Neville. He had retreated from the conversation. His whole body had slumped back away from the table and he was staring at the table in front of him.

"Are these two for real?" She asked, smiling.

Neville looked up, seemingly surprised that she was still talking to him with the twins there. It took him a moment to respond.

"Not in the least."

"Why, we're utterly shocked that you would misrepresent us like that in front of our new found friend Jamie." Said the one on the right.

"It's actually Jane." She corrected him.

"Oh. Details details." Said the one on the left.

At that moment Dumbledore began to speak in front of the group. The mass of children quieted to hear what their Headmaster had to say. Jane was glad. Him giving a speech meant that she would have time to register the new people. Neville and Fred/George.

_Okay. I can do this. _


	3. Chapter 3

The following day Neville sat beside Jane as they waited for their class to begin. _Okay. Act like I'm fourteen. That's easy enough. Just throw __spitballs__ and act awkward around boys. _She glanced to her side. She was glad that Neville was there. _Well, maybe not all boys._ He seemed somewhat at odds with the other students. His apparent inability to effectively relate to his peers drew Jane to him. _He's just as ill-fitting here as I am. Well, maybe not just as much. __But more so than most._

She looked at him and noticed that he had been watching her. She smiled at him warmly, hoping that he would understand its meaning. _It's okay to look at me. It's okay to be curious. I won't bite your head off._ He smiled back.

At that moment the door burst open from behind them. A man, incredibly pale, with black greasy hair framing a dour face marched through to the front of the room.

"Open your books to page one hundred and fifty six."

Unpleasantly amused, Jane did as he commanded. _Here we go..._

"Today you will be making potions in pairs so that I can gain an understanding of just how much you have forgotten over the summer. Pull out whatever ingredients you will be requiring and get to work."

Jane's eyes widened. She had never made a potion before. And she did not know anyone in the class other than Neville. She shot a glance at him, hoping that he would help her.

"Want to work together?" He asked timidly

Relief rushed through her. _Thank you God for giving me Neville._

"Yes. Thank you."

"I'm not that good."

"Neither am I. I've never made a potion before in my life. But I'm sure it won't matter. Isn't the point of today's lesson to gauge where we're at? That's what he said."

Neville inhaled deeply, worry spreading across his face.

"That's Snape. He's, well, he's sort of evil."

Jane almost laughed, but the look on Neville's face prevented her from acting on the impulse.

"Oh. Then this should be fun."

The two of them began to work. Neville was, as he had warned, not very talented at making potions. And Jane in her inexperience had no idea what she was doing. Between the two of them they were hopeless. While attempting to stir in an ingredient, Neville had accidently dropped am entire vile into the cauldron. In her reading of the directions, Jane had forgotten to include a step. As the class neared an end, their potion looked nothing like what the potions of their classmates did.

The final step of the directions involved a spell.

"Do you want to try this, or shall I?" asked Neville

"Um, what do I need to do?"

"Just hold your want over the cauldron and recite what it says here." He pointed to the book in front of them.

"My what?"

"Your wand."

_Oh crap._

She looked down. She had not gotten a wand. No one had told her that she would need one.

"Um, I don't have one."

"What?"

"No one told me that I would need one. I'm new to this, remember?"

She looked at him, pleading for his understanding. To her relief, he smiled soothingly at her.

"Then I guess I'll take a shot at it." Neville pulled out his wand and held it over the cauldron, reciting the incantation. Nothing happened.

"Pitiful Longbottom." Came a voice from just behind them.

Snape had made his way around the class room and was now overseeing the blunder that Jane and Neville had created.

"And I suppose you –" He indicated Jane, "had a hand in this?"

_He's being mean. That's okay, he's mean to everyone. Just deal with it. Normal fourteen year old girls would just take this._

"I thought that you had been tested and deemed fit for the fourth year. Apparently the Headmaster overestimated your abilities."

"I – uh, I –" She stammered

"You, uh, you what? Pull out your wand and try to fix this mess."

"I don't have one."

This seemed to pleasantly surprise him. He leaned in a little closer to her but raised his voice so that the other students could hear him.

"You don't have a wand?"

"No."

"Then it seems certain that the Headmaster overestimated your abilities. If this is truly the case then I suggest you avoid working with Longbottom again. Between the two of you who knows what disasters you could cause."

Snape glowered down at her a very slight smirk emerging as he insulted her. Several students chuckled slightly. He began to walk away.

_Let him walk away. Normal fourteen year old girls would just take this. Let him walk away. _

"That's not fair. Professor, she's never done a spell before. I mean, she doesn't even have her own wand. No one told her she would need one." Neville tried to defend her.

"What was that Longbottom?" He asked, clearly offended

"I said that that's not fair. She didn't realize that she would need a wand. And this is her first potion. Give her a break."

"I don't give breaks."

"But –"

"But nothing. And I don't appreciate being questioned, especially by someone that is as obviously incompetent and pathetic as you are. Detention."

Jane looked at Neville, who sat defeated next to her. He was the first person to have ever tried to defend her. The first person to try and be friends with her. And Snape had just hurt him.

_Screw normal._

Staring down at the table Jane laughed. A soft cackle, inherently condescending. Barely loud enough to be heard by Snape.

"Do you find something amusing Ms –" he glanced down at a sheet of parchment he was holding "Doe?"

He had asked her loudly, so the whole class could hear.

"That depends." She looked up at Snape, catching his eyes with hers. "Do you find irony funny?"

He shifted his gaze from hers, trying to hide his discomfort.

"Or how about sheer and utter hypocrisy?"

"I would watch what you say Ms. Doe. Just because you're new here doesn't mean that I won't give you a detention."

"Oh, I'm a shakin'" She replied coolly.

"You can join Longbottom in detention."

"May I ask you a question?" She asked politely

He did not respond. He glared at her.

"Are you too stupid to notice the irony in your attack on Neville, or are you just that hypocritical?"

"Excuse me?!" He exclaimed.

The smirk was gone. He took several steps towards Jane. She stood, making herself eye level with Snape. She stared at him. He couldn't escape.

"It's ironic because you called him pathetic and incompetent when in reality, you are obviously both of these things."

"That is enough. Detention for a month."

"Any inability of _your _students to perform any random task that _you _assign them is _your_ fault. It is a result of _your _inadequate preparation. Neville's failure is_ your_ failure. So you attacking him is completely unfair when you should really be attacking yourself. _He _is not an incompetent student. _You _are an incompetent professor."

Snape's face tightened. His lips were so thin that they were barely noticeable.

"That is completely inappropriate." He said sternly.

"Yes, I agree. It is." Jane said, smirking at him.

"Two months detention."

Jane laughed again.

"And pathetic? I mean, come on." With the force of her anger fully behind her now Jane began walking towards Snape, completely abandoning and attempt at normalcy.

"Stop this now."

"Don't you find it a little pathetic that a grown man such as yourself feels compelled to insult his students less than half his age so that he can feel better about himself? I mean, if you were really as badass as you act then would you really be teaching a bunch of fourteen year olds? "

"Four months detention."

"No. You wouldn't. You're just faking it. Trying to intimidate us all so that you can feel stronger and more powerful than you actually are. That is pathetic in a way that Neville could never be. In a way that only someone as sad and miserable as you could be."

Snape stood stunned.

"So let me ask you again: Are you too stupid to notice the irony, or are you just that pathetically hypocritical?"

"Detention for one year."

"Wonderful. I can't wait to have more insightful conversations with you."

"Get out of my classroom."

"Gladly."

Jane turned from Snape, walked past Neville who was staring at her, white-faced, opened the door, passed through it, and slammed it shut behind her.

* * *

"Well that was quite impressive."

Jane turned to see a slender boy with silver blonde hair approach her, his eyes maliciously focused.

"Yeah, something like that." She said, matching his gaze.

It was after the class she had walked out of had ended. She was waiting in the hall for Neville.

The boy smiled at her.

"I'm Draco Malfoy." He said, his lips curling.

"Jane Doe." She said, somewhat hesitantly.

Neville walked out of the classroom and headed towards her, but froze when he saw who she was talking to.

"Jane Doe?" Asked Draco. "What kind of a name is that?"

He turned from her to his friends and began to chuckle.

"I've been called other things, but none of them stuck." She said.

He turned back to her, eyes narrowing as he grinned.

"I can think of a few things someone would call you." He said scathingly.

"Funny, I was just thinking the same thing about you." She replied, her tone mild.

Draco laughed. Neville, having gotten close enough to hear them, smiled a little.

"So, seriously. What's your real name?" Asked Draco.

"Seriously. Jane Doe."

"What, your parents couldn't think of anything more original." He asked, his voice mocking.

"That would require that they take the time to think about me at all. Which they didn't." She said, her tone suddenly becoming serious.

Draco looked at her, his smile absent.

"Why not?" He asked.

"I don't know. And if I had the opportunity to ask them I'm not sure if I would. They abandoned me. Without a birth certificate. Without a name. Other people took care of me, tried giving me a name – an identity – but none of them suited me. By that point I had already become a no one." She said, staring at Draco.

Draco looked at her, for a moment his jaw dropped. Neville watched from beyond Draco's gaze, his expression one of empathy.

"I can see where you get your issues with authority figures." He said, sneering once again.

Jane looked at him, matched his expression.

"You have no idea."


	4. Chapter 4

Jane sat in the common-room, quietly reading. There was a lot that she had to catch up on. Since coming to Hogwarts she had realized just how much work was required to understand magic. Well, to understand their kind of magic anyways. And now she had to spend every Friday night of the year in detention.

_How the hell am I ever going to catch up?_

Sighing, she restrained her thoughts enough to look back down at her book. After three and a half sentences, she gave up. _Herbology... who the hell cares about Herbology? _Frustrated, she closed her book and tossed it onto the floor.

"Hi." Came a small voice from behind her.

Jane turned to see Neville walking towards her.

"Hi." She replied, trying not to let her frustration too apparent.

"Are you okay?" He asked. _Apparently I'm not that good at hiding things. _

"Yeah, just getting a little frustrated. Trying to catch up is harder than I thought it would be. You don't happen to know anything about Herbology, do you?" She asked, expecting him to say no.

"Actually yes. It's my best subject. Did you want any help?" He offered, sitting down next to her.

"That would be really great. Thanks." She said, retrieving her book from where it had landed. She quickly tried to find the page that she had been so confused with.

"No problem. Besides, I owe you." He said. Not sure what he meant, she looked up. He was averting his eyes from her, guilt spreading across his features. "I'm sorry I got you a year's detention." He continued in a quiet voice.

She stared at him a moment, absorbing not only what he had said, but also his expression. _Yes, he is sorry. _

"It wasn't your fault. If anything, it was Snape's fault. He shouldn't have said what he said." She said, trying to alleviate his guilt, "Besides, I have always had issues with dirty old men. And he definitely fits the bill on that one."

He looked up at her, his guilt not entirely absent, but rather replaced with curiosity.

"Dirty old men, eh? Didn't you like your dad?" He asked

"Oh, um, I didn't really know my parents. Hence the name." She said shrugging.

"My parents died when I was a kid. I don't remember them." He said, his voice still quiet, but somehow flatter.

"I'm sorry." She said, reaching her hand towards his, trying to comfort him.

"I was raised by my grandma. She's alright, but I miss them."

"I bet." She said, her voice even.

"She's really quite good to me. But she has high expectations."

"I know what that's like."

He looked at her, expecting her to continue. _How much should I tell him?_

"One of my foster families had this thing where I needed to be ridiculously good at everything. I didn't last long there."

His eyes remained fixed on her face, wanting more.

"You know, when I was there, I had this cat. She was this incredibly fat, rude blob of fur, but she was my friend. Whenever I would get stressed out, she would come and lie next to me. It was nice. Do you have a cat?"

"I have a toad."

"Well, close enough." She said, grinning at him as he picked up her Herbology text book.

* * *

"That was so cool."

Jane and Neville looked over at the crowd of students that had just entered the common-room. A red-headed boy had spoke and was walking over towards them. Behind him was a girl with crazed curly hair. Hermione. One of Jane's new roommates. With them was a boy with glasses barely hiding bright eyes and horribly messy hair. A hint of a scar was showing from underneath his bangs.

"I'm glad you enjoyed it."

"He's been deserving that for years." The boy with the glasses said.

Jane looked at him. _I know him._ It was a certainty. But she did not know how she knew him.

"No Ronald. She got detention for a year. On her first day of classes. She might very well be expelled." The girl spoke, ignoring Jane's presence.

"But I bet it was worth it. Was it?" the red-headed boy named Ronald asked

Jane thought about that question for a moment. She thought of the life that she had lead the previous summer, of what she would be going back to. She looked over at Neville, whose smile had faded at the mention of the word "expelled". _Yes. It was worth it._ She smiled. She caught Neville's eyes, trying to communicate her thoughts to him. Once again, he seemed to understand.

"Jane, these are some of my friends. Ron, Hermione and Harry." Addressed Neville

"Nice to meet you." Replied Jane with mock conventional congeniality.

"Oh, no. The pleasure is all mine." Ron – the redhead – replied.

Hermione glared at him. But Jane only had time to give Ron a knowing yet scolding look.

"Jane!" One of the two – Fred and George was it? – had called out to her. He came rushing over to her side, quickly followed by the other.

"Did we hear right? Did you tell off Snape?" the other asked.

"Yes. I did."

"You are a goddess." Said the first

She laughed.

"Something like that." She replied.

"Why – How – What happened?" the second asked.

"Her and Neville were working together in potions, and Snape – being Snape – started to insult their work. He called Neville incompetent and pathetic and accused Jane of being overestimated by Dumbledore and implied she was stupid because she doesn't have a wand." Ron informed the redheaded twins. "And then as he started to walk away she started to laugh at him. Can you imagine? Someone _laughing_ at Snape?"

"Anyways, she called him out. She asked him if he was either stupid of a hypocrite and attacked him. I mean, she spelt it all out just how pathetic and incompetent _he_ is. It was amazing." Neville finished Ron's telling.

"It sounds amazing." One of the twins replied – Jane had lost track of which one was which

"It was incredibly stupid." Hermione interjected. "She has detention for a year, and will probably have to face the Headmaster."

With this realization the twins gave a worried glance towards Jane. _They don't want me expelled. They like me being here. Sure, it might only be because I tell off their least favourite proff, but they like me here._ She smiled.

"There are worse things than detention. And I'm not to worried about having to face Dumbledore."

The group did not seem to be satisfied with her answer, but none of them pushed her.

"You don't have a wand?" One of the twins asked

"Uh, no. I don't. I didn't know I would need one. I didn't even realize that I was a witch until this summer." She explained

"Well then, no worries. We happen to have a spare wand right here." Said the other twin, producing one from his pocket.

She looked between the brothers. There was something far to _sincere _in their offer. Something inauthentically so. _They want me to have the wand alright, but why? _She glanced at the others. Neville was looking sceptical at the wand, Ron was smirking, Hermione was scolding, and Harry was looking almost guilty. _Something's up. Act normal. _

Jane reached for the wand, took it from the twin's hand and gripped it in her own.

"Really? Are you sure that I can have this?"

"Of course." Replied one twin.

"Would we lie to you?" Replied the other."How do I know it works?" She asked.

"You just give it a snap of the wrist and if something happens then it works." Replied the other twin.

_Yeah, I don't buy it. _

She looked at the wand, trying to hide her scepticism.

_Screw normal._

Pointing the wand at the twins, she swished her wrist. Both boys jumped out of the way, but neither succeeded in avoiding the burst that escaped from the end of the wand. The orange bolt leapt towards the twins, grasped the pillows laying behind them, and spun them in the air. After she had returned them to their rightful place, Jane smiled, and put the wand in her pocket.

"Thanks boys." She said as she got up and began to walk away.

The twins, Neville, Ron, Harry and Hermione stared after her in dumbfounded awe.


	5. Chapter 5

The rest of the week had passed her by, and now, on Friday night, she sat next to Neville in Snape's office awaiting instructions on how they would be serving their detention. Each of them occupied an uncomfortable wooden chair on one side of Snape's desk. Snape, sitting in front of his desk, glared at them.

It occurred to Jane that his complexion was a mirror to the atmosphere of his office. Grey stones lined the windowless walls. In front of these walls were rows of shelving – dusty and smelling books filled most of these, but others were stocked with small vials and jars of potions and ingredients, still others were lined with what appeared to be records. A gramophone stood on a table next to this shelf.

_Snape listens to music? He probably plays it backwards hoping to find satanic messages telling him to kill his parents or abuse his authority._

She didn't dare glance at Neville, knowing that she would burst into laughter the moment she tried to express her thoughts to him. Snape's eyes narrowed at her.

"Do you find something amusing, Ms. Doe?"

"No. I find nothing here amusing at all." She responded immediately, forcing her voice into a monotone, lacking in both inflection and emotion.

Snape had spoken to Dumbledore about her, and Dumbledore had spoken to her in turn. He had not expelled her, had not even threatened it – he had known that she realized it as a possibility without him having to flaunt it over her. Instead he had asked her to try to refrain from further attacks on his faculty. She had agreed, hesitantly.

_Not that I should have. Is it really that great here? Is it really that great having to act like a fourteen year old __girl._

_But it isn't that bad either. _None of the other professors had provoked her – most seemed to be willing to help her out in her inexperience, some even seemed eager to see her succeed. Jane thought this may have been related to their distaste for Snape. Even Snape seemed to be walking on eggshells around her. Jane thought that perhaps Dumbledore had spoken to him too.

But despite the lack of provocation, Jane was convinced that this would not last. Sooner or later, someone was going to push her. _And sooner or later, I am going to have to push back. Dumbledore can't expect me to not defend myself. _But she had given Dumbledore her word. She owed him, and out of respect for him, she would hold her tongue. _But she didn't have to like it. _

"Good."

The three of them sat in silence. Neville shifting awkwardly in his seat, Snape coolly staring down Jane, and Jane stoically waiting for instructions.

"Um, Professor Snape? What would you like us to do for detention?" Asked Neville after he could no longer stand the tension.

Snape seemed satisfied with the fact that one of the students had spoken first.

"You will be writing lines for me. 'I will respect my professors'. Start with one hundred lines, tell me when you have finished that much and we'll see how many more you will have to do."

Both Neville and Jane reached into their bags, pulled out some parchment and a quill each. They began to write. As they worked, Snape took out a stack of papers and began to grade them. Without raising her head, Jane watched as he crossed out answers, marking large "X"'s next to them. His normally dour expression was amplified. Clearly, he was not impressed with the responses he was receiving. He finished with the first paper and moved on to the next. After a moment, he sighed and rolled his eyes. Jane smiled, amused at his frustration.

The group continued on working for several hours. At long last, Snape finished grading his papers. He released a long and exasperated sigh as he compiled the papers and placed them on the corner of his desk. Both Neville and Jane had written well over one hundred lines, but Snape had made them stay longer.

A knock on the door brought all three heads turning towards it.

"Come in."

Professor McGonnogal entered. Her stern yet maternal presence seemed at odds in this space. She looked tired, uncomfortable and irritable. She glanced towards Jane and Neville and nodded curtly at them before turning to face Snape.

"May I have a word with you Professor Snape?" She phrased it as a question, but her tone was much more demanding.

"Of course." He replied, then to Jane and Neville "You two keep writing."

The two of them stepped out of the office and into the hallway, closing the door behind them. Neville and Jane turned to face each other, neither of them understanding what was happening on the other side of that door. The sound of hushed yet angered voices was amplified by the echo in the hall. Straining their ears without getting out of their seats to get a better spot, they tried to overhear the conversation.

"...three hours!" "...right to hand out..." "...curfew...sleep..." "...not my problem..." "...too long..." "...not your decision..." "Dumbledore..."

The door opened and Snape walked through, his lips practically non-existent, his eyes bulging slightly, but his head still high and his posture still upright.

"You may leave. Ms. Doe, same time next week."

Neville and Jane immediately packed up their belongings and walked past Snape into the hallway. Professor McGonnogal stood there, waiting for them. As soon as they had made their way to her side, Snape slammed his door shut. McGonnogal released an exasperated sigh.

"Head up to the common-room. Don't make any stops on your way."

"Yes. Thank you Professor McGonnogal." replied Neville as Jane nodded. The two of them did as they were told.

* * *

She was running again. Forcing her legs to move even though they didn't want to. She propelled herself forward, the lake rushing towards her as she ran.

_Keep going. Just keep going. _

_Get some distance between yourself and the school.__Those unrealistic expectations._

Jane kept running in the same direction that she had run in before.

She made her way down to the shore, again ignoring the ship anchored there, and turned in the same direction as before.

_I__s that w__h__at happens here? _She thought of the look on Snape's face after McGonnogal had spoken with him. _Is that what they do to people that are different?_

Without realizing it, McGonnogal threatening the authority of Snape had, instead of forming an allegiance between herself and McGonnogal as it had with Neville, made her rethink the assumptions she had about him. _Maybe he isn't evil. Maybe he's just misunderstood – a modern day Frankenstein monster. _She cringed as she thought it. _He might not be that cliché, but I'm willing to bet that he isn't as bad as the others think he is._

Her breathing was laboured by the time that she reached the tree. She sat in the same spot that she had occupied the previous time and looked out over the lake to the castle.

_Is that what this place does to people that are different? Turns them into a Snape?_

_No. Not me. I will not turn into that kind of person. I will not let that happen. _

She began to rub her calves to soothe the cramp that had developed.

_But is it really that bad? Being a Snape? I mean, without the bad hair, pale skin, hypocrisy and elitist attitude of course.__ How do__I know that he is really all that bad, I mean, all that I am going on are __the words of Neville and the other students. They have been good to me so far, but what do I really know about them? I mean, what little I know about them is that they are different from me. In really big ways they are different from me. _

_Maybe Snape isn't that bad after all. Maybe he's more like me than the others.__ Well, it's not like he could be any more different than the others. _

She finished massaging her calves, got up, and stretched before heading back up to the castle.


	6. Chapter 6

Jane made her way down the stairs from her dormitory and into the common-room. The crowd that had been there earlier in the evening had dissipated, but Neville remained reading a book a professor had loaned him.

"Hey." She said to him, more to not be rude than to actually start a conversation.

"Oh. Hi." He said, smiling at the greeting and putting down his book. "What are you up to?"

Jane matched his smile and stopped herself from making a sarcastic remark.

"I'm just heading out for a run." She said, pointing to her runners and track pants. Her hair had been pulled back into a high ponytail and bobbed as she spoke.

"Oh. Want some company?"

She looked at her friend sitting in front of the fireplace reading a book. _I don't think he'__s ever run for pleasure __in his life._

"No offence, but I prefer to run alone. Set my own pace, you know?"

By the look on his face it was, in fact, apparent that he did not. But equally apparent was his relief at not having to go out into the cool evening and leave his comfortable spot.

"But maybe later we can hang out?" She asked, intentionally bringing a hopeful tone to the invitation.

"Yeah, for sure." He replied, clearly satisfied with himself.

"Okay. Well then. See you later." She concluded rather awkwardly.

She left the common-room and walked through the castle. It was still a bit of a maze for her, but she was getting the hang of it. Soon enough she had found her way to the front entrance and out into the castle grounds. She paused a moment to inhale, letting the fresh air fill her lungs thoroughly before setting off. One pounding bound before another, straight down towards the lake.

She was the only one out this evening. She was glad. As much as she liked most of the other students, she required a little bit of solitary thought at the moment.

She reached the lake, turned left, and began running following the shore, ignoring the massive ship anchored there.

Jane kept running. She ignored the inevitable burning pain that scorched through her calves, thighs, sides, and all the way into her lungs. _Push through it. Keep going. Get some space between you and his place._ She kept going.

Her breath became laboured. More like the rhythmic beats of a drum that of her heart. She felt the blood rushing through her body, making her face hot. She still kept going.

She reached a part of the shore that jutted out slightly into the lake, a tree with branches looming over the edge of the ground, less than five metres from the reach of the lake. Finally she slowed her pace, changing her direction to this tree. There, on the part of the shore that jutted out slightly into the lake with a tree whose branches loomed out over the edge of the limits of the earth, she sat. There was a crook in the tree with more than enough room for her to fit in, facing the lake.

Jane looked out over the lake. She knew that there were things in there – sea monsters, merpeople and the like – but it was impossible to not realize the beauty of it. The light from the sun reflected off the surface of the water, creating a streak of bright orange-yellow across the lake, leading to the castle. She squinted to avoid this streak from hurting her eyes and allowed herself to examine the castle and all its associations.

_I don't belong there. But I'm not there – I'm here. It may seem like I fit there, but I don't. I am outside of it, I always have been, and I always will be. I can't forget that. _

She felt the heat in her face draining slowly as her breathing became more calm. The cramp in her side was silencing. Her legs a little wobbly, but glad for the rest.

_I need to stop being so stupid. I can't get kicked out of here. Today was worth it – the look on Snape's face. __And the look on Neville's face.__ I have a friend. __A real, honest to goodness friend.__ I can't get kicked out of here. I would lose him. _

_So stop being so weird. __Start acting like__ a normal fourteen year old girl—But I'm not a normal fourteen year old girl – Then act like it. It's too important for you to not be. _

Jane sighed and slowly stood. She kicked her legs back a bit and stretched slightly before beginning her run back up to the castle.


	7. Chapter 7

The week had come and gone relatively uneventful. It was Friday evening again, and Jane was making her way to Snape's office for detention. She was early and knew that he wouldn't be there – she had just left the dining hall where he was still eating his diner. But she was curious.

Arriving at the door to his office, she turned the knob, hoping it was open. It wasn't. Careful to ensure that no one saw her, she closed her eyes and focused on the locked door that she wanted to get through. After a moment of focussing, she tried the knob again. This time it opened easily. She let herself in.

Alone in Snape's office, it didn't seem nearly as intimidating as it had the previous week. When she had been in there with Neville and Snape she hadn't had the opportunity to look around. She hadn't noticed that in the corner behind where she and Neville had been sitting was a fireplace. As she stood in the room now, a small and unthreatening fire radiated heat through the room. She hadn't noticed the carpeting that stretched from the hearth of the fireplace to beyond where Snape's desk and chair were. Without realizing it, she smiled. She was comfortable here.

Jane made her way around to Snape's desk and began to look around in them. In the bottom drawer she found a bottle and two tumblers. She pulled them out, and poured herself a drink. She took a sip and let the alcohol warm her throat.

She walked around the room, reading the names of the books that stocked the shelves, pulling out the ones that sounded interesting to read a page or two before placing it back. She heard steps approaching the room, realized that they were probably Snape's, but made no effort to hide. He opened the door and walked in as she pulled another book off the shelf. She turned to him before he could cover his surprise. She smiled at him.

"What are you doing here?" He asked, clearly dumbfounded

"I let myself in." She replied as if it were the most obvious answer in the world.

"The door was locked when I left." He said, accusingly

"It wasn't when I walked through it."

He seemed to be unsure of how to respond to her. She put the book back onto the shelf and walked over to his desk. She sat down on the corner of it, lifted her glass, and took a drink.

"Is that firewhiskey?" He demanded

"Yes. Did you want some?" She asked as she began to pour him a glass.

"Fourth year students are _not _allowed to drink firewhiskey. I'll have to report you to the Headmaster."

"And then I'll have to say that I found it in your desk. Unless I am mistaken, professors are not allowed to have alcohol on school grounds." She said it calmly and with a friendly tone – barely threatening.

Jane finished pouring his glass, and handed it to Snape. He took it without realizing what it was that he was taking from her. She smiled at him again and took a drink from her glass. He glowered at her with distrust.

"What are you doing here?" He asked with greater scepticism than before

"I have detention with you." She said, smirking.

"Did you break into my office?" He asked accusingly.

"I was curious." She replied with a shrug.

Jane turned from him and began to examine the shelves again, this time concerned with the records. She trailed her finger across them, pulling one out at random.

"Put that back." He demanded petulantly.

"Thriller?" She looked up at him as she asked, chuckling. "Thriller?! You listen to muggle music?"

Frustrated, he sighed and made his way towards her. He picked up the album and placed it on the shelf again.

"Ms. Doe, this is completely inappropriate. You are here to serve detention, not mock my musical tastes."

He placed his hand on her elbow and guided her to a chair in front of his desk. She sat. He made his way around the desk to occupy his chair. Once in it, he let slip a slight sigh, revealing the increased sense of comfort he felt with the desk separating them.

"So, what am I to do this evening?" she said, putting down the tumbler.

"You will write more lines. The same as last week."

He shifted his weight in his chair and reached to a stack of papers that apparently needed grading.

"No, I don't think I will."

He looked up at her. She was smiling at him, but not in a condescending or threatening way.

"Excuse me?"

"Look, the way I see it making me write lines won't serve any purpose except to maybe make me develop carpel tunnel syndrome. "

"So what do you suggest? I can't very well just let you walk out of here." He replied sarcastically, hesitatingly playing her game.

"Well, you could let me go through your music collection. I might be able to suggest something that you would like. And if not, well, then at least I could mock you."

"I do believe that you mocking me is the reason why you are here in the first place."

"No. Actually, I wasn't mocking you then. I was defending Neville and calling you out on your blatant hypocrisy. I was challenging the abuse of your authority. Mocking implies a lack of malicious intent. It's friendly."

He looked slightly taken aback.

"You want to be my friend?" He asked, trying to clarify her last comment.

She stood up and began to examine the shelves once more.

"Let's face it, you don't fit in here. Your students hate you. They think you're evil. Your colleagues don't like, trust, or respect you. The avoid acknowledging your existence whenever possible – they don't eat with you, talk with you in the halls, spend any more time with you than is necessary. And Dumbledore seems to keep questioning your authority – both with our original incident and with the punishment you afforded myself and Neville as a result of that incident."

His face had retracted subtly. He was unsure of how to respond.

"And, I mean, it's not like you let it bother you. You hate your students just as much, if not more, than they hate you. You seem to barely tolerate your colleagues. Do you even like children?"

He hesitated, unsure of whether the question had been rhetorical.

"No." He said after several moments.

"I don't know why you teach here. It doesn't seem to fit. But that's not really my issue, now, is it?"

She turned to face him, capturing his gaze with hers.

"My issue is that the vast majority of the people here, however well intentioned and kind, are ridiculously naive. They expect and assume goodness in everybody, even when it is not there. But not you. You seem to assume the opposite, which is far more logical if you ask me. Instead of spending my detentions writing endless useless lines, wouldn't it make much more sense to use them to our benefit? I mean, I like most people here, but I think that after a certain point I might just gag on the amount of politeness being forced down my throat here."

"What are you suggesting – that instead of writing lines you serve your detentions receiving insults from me?"

"Not exactly. I'm sure I would be just as offended with a normal conversation with you than I would be with your intentional insults."

Before he could stop himself Snape chuckled quietly. She took it as an agreement.

"Let's call a truce. You won't attack me or mine outside of this detention, and I won't attack you outside of detention."

"I don't see how this 'truce' would benefit me."

"Well, if you don't agree to it I can continue to question your authority in classrooms and force you into depressing self-reflection that you would probably prefer to avoid."

He looked at her, focusing on her eyes. Trying to discern whether she was really capable of doing what she was suggesting. After a moment he smirked.

"But that still doesn't punish you for your original attack."

Noticing his smirk and the semi-jovial tone of his voice she smiled. She raised her glass.

"Then I suppose the only course of action is to feed me enough of this stuff to get me incredibly hung-over. Surely you prefer the satisfaction of physical pain to tedious and didactic lines."

"Surely." He said smiling as he raised his glass and drank to their truce. She followed suit.

"So – once again, I must ask. Thriller?"


	8. Chapter 8

"So how was solo detention?"

Jane looked up from the book she was reading. It was the following Sunday morning. She had slept in on the Saturday. Incredibly late – effectively wasting away the day. Hermione had woken her once or twice to check and see if she was alright, but Jane had insisted she was fine, not wanting to explain the hangover to her naive roommate. Rather than try and work through her hangover, she had decided to take it easy on Saturday, but wake up early and get her work done on the Sunday. She was had just begun.

Walking towards her were Fred and George. _I'm not going to get my work done today, am I?_

"It wasn't as bad as you might think." She had contemplated telling her friends the actual details, but decided against it. She doubted that any of them would understand, least of all Neville. As much as she appreciated them, there were parts of her that they could never relate to. For the most part she didn't mind, but was scared that if she didn't let herself be the person that she had become, the person that she couldn't be in front of her new friends, she wouldn't be able to find that person anymore once she needed to find it again. And if there was a possibility of her being able to remain true to herself via these detentions, then maybe she wouldn't lose herself. But if she lost these detentions, then she would lose herself too. The detentions were too valuable to her for her to risk them. They were too valuable for her to risk sharing them.

The looks on their faces expressed their disbelief, but they didn't press her.

"Look, I'm really sorry about this, but as it turned out, we actually can't give you the wand that we thought we could." Said one

"I'm afraid that we're going to have to take it back."

Jane looked at them, not attempting to hide her scepticism. Her eyes narrowed slightly, but she retrieved the wand from her pocket and handed it to them. While they took it, they grinned.

"But, what kind of gentlemen would we be without providing a lady such as yourself with a wand?"

"Indeed. That was our dilemma. Which, fortunately we resolved when we realized that we did, in fact, have an extra wand."

While one held onto the wand that she had just given them, the other produced and handed over an alternative wand. She took it from them and examined it. It looked exactly the same as the one she had just returned, but there was still something not entirely earnest about it.

"Thanks. I'm really grateful for this guys." She said, convinced that she wouldn't be for long.

"Not a problem." Said one, his cheeks and ears turning slightly more pink than the rest of his face.

"Why don't you give it a whirl?" Suggested the other.

Jane looked between the twins, the eager face of one, the guilty face of the other. Both of them grinning. _Good God, they are incredibly obvious, aren't they? _She stared at the wand they had just handed her, knowing what it was supposed to be. _Fine then.__ Let them play their game._

She extended her arm, holding out the new wand, and gave her wrist a snap. A pale yellow beam shot from the end of her wand, reached towards the fireplace, and lit it.

Smiling, Jane looked at the twins. Both of them looked shocked and disappointed.

"But how?" asked one

"Here, let me see." Demanded the other, reaching for the wand. He grasped it in his hand and snapped his wrist, reciting a familiar spell as he did it. Purple sparks erupted from the end of the wand and propelled him backwards.

"I guess it just works better with me." Said Jane as she stood, walked over to where he lay on the ground, and retrieved the wand from him.

The two boys stared at her dumbfounded.

"Look, Fred, George, it will take more than a trick wand to fool me."

"But how did you do that?" Asked one, still disbelieving.

"Fred, a magician never reveals their secrets." She replied, grinning at them.

He looked at her, clearly unfamiliar with the phrase. Then smiled.

"I'm not Fred. I'm George."

"No. You're not. You're Fred. I can tell the difference."

His face fell into disappointment.

"But how –" He began

"Fred, I am not going to tell you how I can tell the difference. And I am not going to tell you how to make this wand work properly. Give it up."

"But even our parents have difficulty keeping us separate." George interjected

Jane paused, looked at him, and smiled.

"Then I guess I ought to tell the secret to Ron so that he can pass it on, eh?"

By the look on their faces she knew that neither of them wanted that.

"Don't worry boys. I won't let your secret slip just yet. It's way too much fun seeing you guys trying to figure it out.

"Now, if you'll excuse me, " she said as she sat back down and picked up her book once more "I have a lot of homework to do."

Confused and bewildered, the twins left her alone.


	9. Chapter 9

"I see you let yourself in again."

Jane turned to see Snape enter into his office half smiling half scolding.

"Ah. I knew I couldn't fool you." She responded sarcastically before turning once again.

She was sitting cross-legged on the carpet, close to the shelves that contained Snape's record collection. Next to her was a tumbler containing a warm, amber coloured liquid. She was holding a record, examining the back cover. She placed it back, pulled out the next one.

"Should I expect more mocking?" He asked slyly

"Not for this one. This one I like."

Jane stood, the tumbler in one hand, the record in the other. She took a sip and walked over to Snape.

"You listen to this one a lot?"

He examined the album she had handed him. It was a recording of a live performance of the Parisian Symphonic Orchestra. He looked up at her, surprised.

"It's been a while. Do _yo__u_?"

"It's been a while." She repeated, smiling.

He walked over to a gramophone, put the record in place, and turned it on. Within moments, the small room was filled with the sound of quiet music. Jane closed her eyes, listened to it and smiled, releasing a small sound of satisfaction from behind her lips.

"Is this the recording of December '88?" She asked, suddenly acute.

He looked down at the covering, searching for the date.

"Not according to this."

"Are you sure? Check the record itself."

He did as she requested.

"Apparently." He said, surprise not hidden in his tone. "How did you know that?"

"I used to listen to this one in my lessons. It's beautiful. Wait – listen to this part here." As she stopped speaking the tones of a violin came to the forefront of the music. She closed her eyes, swaying her head slightly to the music. When the melody ended, she opened them again. Snape was staring at her.

"You took music lessons?"

"Yes."

"What for?"

"Violin. I also learnt a little cello, and I figured out guitar pretty much on my own."

He was silent a moment, unsure of how to take this information. She watched him as he processed.

"But I thought – how did you afford it?"

Immediately after asking it, his eyes bulged slightly, as if he were surprised at his own boldness.

Sighing with an understanding smile, she explained.

"One of the families I stayed with for a while enrolled me in them. Daddy7 wanted all of his children to be special, _E__xceptional_. He thought I could be a bit of a prodigy, and so he made me into one."

"Daddy7?"He asked before he could stop himself.

"Ugh. Sorry – I didn't mean to sound like that." She said, cringing and taking a drink. "I moved around a lot when I was younger – family to family. They all wanted me to call them "Daddy". Numbering them helps me keep them separate."

He looked at her for a moment then averted his eyes quickly. This was making him uncomfortable.

"And on that ridiculously awkward note – you need a drink." She said with dry enthusiasm. She walked over to his desk, poured from the bottle into the tumbler, and handed it to him. "Cheers."

Obviously still uncomfortable, he accepted the distraction.

"Cheers." He said, lifting the glass to his lips. "So you play the violin?"

"I used to. I haven't touched one in ages."

"You were a prodigy?"

"Of course. Haven't you noticed from my outstanding performance in class?"

He smiled at her self-deprecating comment.

"You aren't that bad. You have improved significantly."

"Aww. Ain't you sweet." She said, taking another drink. "But you and I both know that I'm nowhere near where I should be."

He had to smile. Again.

"Why did you stop?" He asked

"Excuse me?" For a change she sounded confused.

"Playing the violin. Why did you stop?"

"Oh. I couldn't afford it anymore. I had to sell my violin a while ago to make rent. But it doesn't really matter. You do what you have to do, right?"

He nodded his understanding, taking a drink from his glass.

"What about you? Do you play anything?" She asked, only slightly suggestively.

"Um, no. I am perhaps the least rhythmic person on the planet."

"I doubt that."

"Oh – no, I really am rather horrible with music."

"I didn't mean to imply that you weren't. But I think that you greatly overestimate the rest of our species."

He laughed before he could stop himself.

"Perhaps I do. Perhaps I do." He said, nodding.


	10. Chapter 10

"So – are you wanting to kill yourself yet?"

Jane turned to see Neville approaching her.

"Pardon?"

"Solo detentions with Snape."

"Oh. You know, he's not as bad as you think he is."

He looked at her, sceptical.

"Have you been drinking or eating anything from him?"

She laughed, pretending to enjoy his joke. Not wanting to tell him the truth.

"What are you up to?" she asked, changing the subject

"Not too much. Just heading down for lunch. Care to join me?"

"It's lunch already?" She asked, somewhat shocked. She glanced at her watch. Indeed it was past noon. She had slept in again.

"Are you just getting out of bed now?" He asked, sounding something between impressed and disturbed.

"Yeah. I guess I should really start to watch that."

"Hermione mentioned that you slept in really late last weekend too. I wish I could sleep like that."

_I doubt that you want a reason to sleep like that_. She rubbed her temple where her headache still throbbed, hoping that Neville wouldn't notice. He didn't.

"You missed a bit of a drama last night while you were in detention."

"Oh?"

"Yeah. Harry managed to get picked for the tri-wizard tournament."

She stopped and looked at her friend, searching his face for any sign of insincerity. There was none. Worry and dread swept over her without her understanding why.

"But I thought there was an age limit to it. Isn't he under it?"

"Yup."

"So – How did it happen then?"

"I don't know. The cup picked the three champions, and then it picked Harry."

"But there are only supposed to be three."

"Yeah. That's what's so weird about it."

She took a moment to absorb this information. _The tournament is dangerous. Harry is going to get hurt._

"But that's not all." Neville added eagerly.

"What?" She asked, just as eagerly.

"Apparently when he put his name in for it, he didn't mention it to Ron. They had a huge row about it last night."

"Have they made up yet?" More fear for Harry grew in her

"No. They both seem furious with the other. I honestly don't know how or if they are going to make up."

She walked the rest of the way to the great hall in silence, only occasionally nodding or uttering an agreeable term in response to Neville.

_Harry's in trouble. _Her gut trembled, and she had the distinct feeling that it had nothing to do with hunger.

* * *

After lunch she had tried to get some homework done, but to no avail. She would begin to read a passage from her book, but by the end of each sentence her mind had found something else more pressing to concern itself with. She eventually gave up, deciding instead to go for a run to clear her head.

As she made her way down the now familiar path she felt the wind gently whipping her face and frame. The refreshing feeling of the cool caress brought her thoughts to her body, the moment that she was in now. She felt her conflicted thoughts falling out of her head as she pressed forward – had the image of them embodying random creatures that would chase her, but she was faster than them.

By the time that she reached her tree her mind was clear, but the moment that she sat down, she let them sweep over her again.

_Harry is in the tri-wizard tournament. He's fourteen. __And the fourth competitor.__ There is something wrong with that. __Something very wrong, and dangerous.__ This isn't right. _

_So?__ Why should I care? He hasn't been particularly kind to me. He hasn't really been anything to him. So why do I feel like I know him? Why can't I shake this feeling that something is wrong?_

_But it can't be that big of a deal, can it? I mean, Dumbledore and all the professors here must know what's going on. They know this world, I don't. _

An image of Snape laughing came to her mind.

_There is something wrong there too. Good God I am pathetic, aren't I? __Making friends with the most hated person on the grounds._She cringed._ But he isn't that bad. And at least we can talk without having it forced. Neville, the twins, the others – I can never really act like __that around them can__ I? Though I probably shouldn't be acting like that around Snape either. I shouldn't have let that Daddy comment slip. He'll think I'm a whiny brat. _

_So?__ He can think whatever he wants. It won't affect me. _

_But I don't want him to think I'm a whiny brat. I'm not. _

_I probably shouldn't have mentioned the violin thing either. He doesn't need to know about that kind of stuff. He doesn't care about it. But I do. I miss playing. But I stopped playing for a reason – I couldn't afford it. Stop day-dreaming about something you can't change. _

_You should really get back to the castle and do some homework. _

She stood, paused a moment to reflect on the gothic beauty of the castle and its surroundings before beginning her run back up.

_But there is definitely something wrong with the Harry thing. _


	11. Chapter 11

Jane made her way down from the common-room, through corridors and hallways, past the great-room, and down the stairs on her way to her third fourth solo detention with Snape. _Detention?__ Yeah – that's what it is._ The third had seemed almost exactly like the second, with some mild mocking and far too much firewhiskey. She had enjoyed it, and had the feeling that she wasn't alone in this.

She had spent the past couple of weeks trying to focus more on her schoolwork, honestly making an effort to catch up to her fellow students. Her determination had paid off, she was almost caught up. Neville had offered to assist her, but was not of much use in anything other than Herbology. As he helped her catch up in this subject Jane saw a side of him that surprised her – a confident and interested side. When they would talk about the differing variations of a certain species of magical plant, Neville lit up. But still, as much as he was enthusiastic to do so, his assistance to her was limited. He had suggested asking Hermione for help, which Jane did. Hermione had been kind and willing to help. She helped Jane _a lot_. Jane appreciated the help from both of them, and had become friends with Hermione.

The twins had attempted distracting Jane from her studies with constant testing. They seemed intent to prove that she could not, in fact, tell the difference between them. She always could. They grew increasingly frustrated and would try to prank her, but she always seemed to know what they were going to do and managed avoid any major plunders. Jane enjoyed the two of them and their company. But most of all, she loved how frustrated they got trying to trick her.

She was beginning to find her footing here at Hogwarts.

As with before, she tried the door – locked. She peered down the hallway on either side of her to ensure that no one was there before holding her hand over the knob and concentrating on what she wanted to do. After a moment, she tried the door again. It opened. She walked in.

"How did you do that?"

Startled, Jane looked to where the voice had come from. Snape was sitting at his desk, staring at her with a curious smirk.

"I _know _that was locked."

She looked at him and returned the smile.

"A magician never reveals her secrets."

She scanned the room. There was a quiet fire warming the room – both the temperature and the light. The books and records that she had been looking over the past few detentions remained in their place, but held new significance for Jane. Each one was interesting, not all of it academic. On the desk in front of Snape were a stack of papers that he had been grading. To his right was a glass already poured. Next to it was the bottle and an empty glass.

"You're early." He commented, not taking his eyes off her.

"So are you."

"I wanted to get these done before you arrived – you do tend to distract me from my work." He indicated the papers in front of him.

"Do I?" She asked, walking towards the desk and sitting in one of the chairs facing it.

He inhaled slightly sharper than usual, and blinked. _He's embarrassed. _The thought occurred to her with pleasant amusement.

"Well, you tend to occupy the space of these detentions quite fully." He recovered

"And you skipped dinner for this?" She asked.

He looked at her, wondering how she knew what he normally did with this time.

"I ate earlier. And what about you?"

"I, uh, I'm not used to eating three square meals a day. I feel like a bit of a glutton at the meals here. I try to avoid them in general." She replied, grinning.

"I see."

There was a moment of silence while they watched each other, smiling. Waiting for the other to make a move.

"So are you going to offer me a drink, or am I going to have to get it for myself?" She asked, teasingly

He looked at her, his eyes narrowing, while he contemplated her question. After a moment, he poured her a drink and handed it to her.

"Cheers." She said as she took a large swig.

"Indeed." He said, following suit.

* * *

Several hours (and drinks) later they remained sitting across from one another. The conversation had hit a lull, but not an awkward one. They each were waiting for the other to act. They gave each other a look for a moment before Jane stood up, drink in hand, and began pacing next to the shelves, examining the titles of books: _An Introduction to Potions; Intermediate Potion-Making; Advanced Potion-Making; Health Potions; Appearance Potions; Behavioural Potions. _

"I realize that you are the potions master here, but is that all that you read?" She asked him without looking away from the books.

"That is my collection of books that I have used as texts for my classes." He explained.

"I see." She said in a mocking tone, glancing over her shoulder at him.

She moved down the wall of shelves to the next section. More of the same.

"And these?" She asked, indicating the books in front of her.

"Those are texts that I have edited for accuracy."

"Ah."

She moved down once again. More of the same. She glanced over her shoulder to him, not having to vocalize the question.

"Those are books that I need to go through yet to see if they are worth including as texts next year."

Jane turned to him, grinning.

"You don't have any books on anything other than potions, do you?"

"I do so!" He said, offended.

He got up out of his chair and walked past her. He stopped in front of a row of shelving.

"See!" He said, indicating the books to his side.

Jane looked at the titles of these books: _Advanced Dark Arts: A Guide; Defensive and Protective Spells; __The__ Three __Unforgivables__: A History. _She laughed.

"Do you have anything that isn't school related?"

From the look on his face she could tell that he didn't. And that she had hit a sore spot.

"Should I?" He asked, suddenly seeming very unlike an authoritative professor.

"It probably wouldn't hurt. I mean, you must have other interests outside potions and the dark arts, right?" She asked nonchalant, not looking at him.

He was silent. After a moment she looked at him. He was looking down, clearly at a loss for words.

"Oh." She began, looking at him. She placed a hand on his arm. "Well, I suppose that at least you must love your job." She stammered, before she could realize the inaccuracy of it. _Crap!_ "I mean, at least you are interested in what your teaching." _Crap! He wants the Defence __Against__ the Dark Arts job. _"Err – I mean potions. And I'm sure that you will end up teaching Defence at some point. I mean, you've been here for years already. They wouldn't pass you over for it."

He kept his head down, but she could see his facial expression. He was reacting to her constant floundering. _Damned firewhiskey! Turns me into a blubbering idiot! _

"Sorry." She said, not knowing what else to say.

He looked up at her, his expression softening. _He's not used to hearing that._ As he exhaled she could smell the firewhiskey on his breath. It occurred to her how close they were, how awkward they were at that moment. But she didn't move. She glanced down at the shelf where she had put her drink down.

"At least you're interested in alcohol!" She blurted, raising her glass as she said it.

He laughed slightly, making her smile. Then he leaned in and kissed her.

It caught her by surprise. There she was holding her drink in the air, being kissed by the most hated professor in the school. _Professor.__ Oh good God. This is NOT normal__ fourteen year old girl behaviour!_She thought it, but didn't move. _I'm not a normal fourteen year old girl. _She let herself be kissed by him, unintentionally leaning into it. The taste of firewhiskey pervading. One of his hands had found its way to cup her face, his other arm around her waist, pulling her into him. After several moments of this, he released her.

She stared at him, dumbfounded. He matched her expression.

"I should go." She said, turned and walked out.


	12. Chapter 12

The next morning Jane's hangover was overshadowed with her thoughts. _Snape kissed me. __Holy crap._ She had made her way back up to her dorm, miraculously not getting lost in the process. When she finally arrived she realized that she was still holding on to the tumbler with firewhiskey in it. _Stupid! What if someone had seen me with it! _When she realized that she had brought it with her she was glad, downing the remaining contents in one final swig. She had gone to bed immediately, but hadn't fallen asleep until several hours later. Her thoughts kept repeating themselves, trying to process. _Snape kissed me. __Holy crap._

Despite the lack of sleep, she woke up earlier than usual on Saturday morning. She was eager to go for a run – needing the wind, and the space to think, the control over her body, her life. Without conscious thought she got changed and laced her running shoes on. Rushing, she pulled her hair back into a ponytail as she made her way down the stairs first to the common-room, then down on into the castle. It felt like it took longer than usual to escape the stone walls of the castle, but knew better. As soon as she was out the large doors, she began to run.

The familiar burning in her calves, thighs and sides was a welcome distraction. _Leave it all behind you._ She raced her way down her normal path, past the ship, and down the shore. But by the time she reached her tree, her thoughts were still with her.

_I'm so stupid. Snape kissed me! How could I have let that happen? I'm supposed to be acting like a normal fourteen year old girl! THIS IS NOT NORMAL!_

Feeling not at all better, she let her body fall down into its normal nook. She rested her head against the bark of the trunk.

_I shouldn't have started this. I should have just dealt with the detentions like a normal student. I shouldn't have __challenged him like I did. I'm so stupid. The whole point of coming here was that it was a chance at normalcy, and now I've completely ruined it.__ This is NOT normal. _

Her headache throbbed. Closing her eyes, she rubbed her forehead, waiting for it to go away.

_Okay. Calm down. It's not ruined yet. No one knows. Snape won't tell anyone. He has just as much to lose as I do. He probably thinks that he has more to lose. He could lose his job. Oh God, he could lose his job! _

She opened her eyes as guilt overwhelmed her. Her headache worsened as she let it dropped back to hit the trunk of the tree.

_He won't tell anyone. _She breathed a sigh of relief. _He won't tell anyone. He can't tell anyone. No one will find out. Okay. No one will find out. __This is not normal, but __I'm safe. So is he. _

Not entirely content with her resolution, but realizing that nothing better would come out of her banging her head against the tree, she stood, and made her way back to the castle, running slower than usual.

* * *

"You're up early."

Jane paused and turned around. She had just returned from her run and was heading up the stairs to her dorm to try to get some more sleep. Neville was standing there.

"Oh. Yeah. I had some trouble sleeping."

He nodded his understanding but looked disappointed. Jane sighed, turned back around and walked towards him.

"But I'm starving. Have you eaten breakfast yet?"

His frown disappeared and he looked up at her.

"Not yet. Want to join me?"

"Yeah. But give me a few minutes to go for a shower and change – I'm all sweaty." She said, indicating her outfit.

"Not a problem. By the way, Hermione asked me to let you know that she won't be able to help you with your homework this weekend."

"Oh?"

"Yeah. She was kind of vague about it, but seemed honestly sorry."

"Okay. I'll be about twenty minutes."

As she walked away from Neville she forgot about her headache. _She's helping Harry._ The knowledge hit her in her gut, not a thought per se. _Good. He needs it. _She made her way to her room and pulled out a clean set of clothes from the trunk at the end of her bed. She glanced up. On her night stand was the empty glass from the previous night. Instantly, she remembered her headache.

_Nope. Not normal at all. _


	13. Chapter 13

Jane had spent the week trying not to think about what had happened. Trying, but not always succeeding. She knew that her homework had suffered. And she had been a little distant with Neville, Hermione and the twins. She knew that she would have to deal with it. She just didn't want to.

She stood facing the door to Snape's office. She had been there for several moments already, unwilling to enter through it. Behind the door, music played quietly. The worst part of the week had been Potions class. Snape had acted as if nothing had happened. _Which is good.__ It's better than him being all weird about it. __Like I am._She scolded herself. _He might not even remember. He was really drunk. You could smell – taste – the alcohol from his mouth. I was drunk too. Even if he does remember, we can just blame it on the booze. _

Despite her thoughts, she didn't try the door.

_Okay Jane. Enough .Just __get__ it over with. You'll be fine. _

She reached for the knob but couldn't make herself grasp it. She cringed at her own cowardice. Sighing, she closed her eyes and knocked.

"Come in."

She forced herself to enter. Snape was sitting at his desk, grading papers. As she walked in, he put down his quill and leaned back in his chair.

_Yup.__ He remembers. _

Jane came over to the desk and took a seat. After getting herself as comfortable as she was going to get she released a sigh. She looked up at Snape, who was watching her. They sat in silence for what seemed like years.

"I, umm, I accidently took this last week." Said Jane, no longer able to bear the silence. She reached into her bag and pulled out the tumbler, placing it on his desk.

Snape watched her, his eyes bulging as he inhaled a sharp breath. _He's horrified. _For a moment she thought he wasn't going to speak at all and that she would have to sit there in silence until he told her to leave. But then he laughed. An awkward, self-deprecating laugh. Relief washed over her. She began to laugh too.

"I'm sorry, but I absolutely need a drink." He apologized.

"Good God, pour me one too." She replied earnestly.

He pulled out a bottle and glass, poured some firewhiskey into it and the one that Jane had returned. He handed one to her. She accepted eagerly, taking a large gulp as the awkward silence returned.

"Look, Jane –" He began, but stopped there, apparently unable to finish.

She looked at him. _He's uncomfortable. _

"I'll just leave." She said, standing up. She noticed that she was, once again, holding the tumbler. She very intentionally placed it on his desk before turning to walk away.

"Wait."

As Jane turned back to face him, Snape stood and walked around his desk to be beside her. She looked at him, expectantly.

"You can't leave. You're serving detention."

"Oh." She said, somehow disappointed. It was far too uncomfortable here. "Of course." She chuckled.

She picked up her drink again, took a large swig.

"I should apologize." He began.

Jane cringed. _This is going to get worse._

"Don't. You really don't need to. I get it."

"No. I do need to. It was completely inappropriate –"

"It's okay. Really."

"I should not have kissed you –"

"I wanted you to."

As she said it she realized it was true. Then she realized that she had said it out loud. _Oh crap. No. I should not have said that. That was completely inappropriate. CRAP!_

"Excuse me?" He asked, his face somewhat paler than usual.

_Crap. Fix it. Fix it now._

"I realize that it wasn't appropriate. But I'm not really a fan of appropriate. Never have been. And you, well, you are the only person here that isn't completely delusional and naive. Put two and two and booze together, and you get – well, you know what you get."

He stared at her, dumbfounded.

"But it doesn't matter. I mean, I'm not about to run and tell anybody, and I'm assuming that you aren't either. Neither of us want to be removed from Hogwarts. And considering that, as you mentioned, I need to continue serving my detentions, I can't exactly stop coming. People would want to know why. And I actually enjoy these evenings. It's a break from all the nice-nice."

He continued to stare at her, his face unchanged.

"Right?" She asked, getting annoyed at his lack of reaction.

"Right." He said without feeling.

Jane sighed. This wasn't going to get better anytime soon. She finished her drink with a third swallow.

"You wanted me to?" He asked in a quiet voice.

She looked at him. His face was hard to read. She searched anyways. His lips were pursed thin, his complexion pale, his eyes pools of black. There was a sheen to them that she hadn't seen before. The wrinkles framing his eyes softened the harshness of them. _He's being sincere._

"Yes." She answered with a surprisingly calm voice.

He took in her response, nodded. He was staring at her. She couldn't tear her eyes from his. Didn't want to.

He reached forward, brushing a strand of hair from her face, letting his hand remain on her face.

"And now?" He asked

He seemed calm, but she could feel his pulse in the cool fingertips on her cheek. She looked at him and pondered his question.

"Yes."

He leaned in and kissed her, more forcefully this time than the week before. She didn't shy away. Without realizing it, she placed her hands on his sides, grabbing him in essence. She pulled him in close to her. The pressure of him against her pushed her against his desk. She lifted herself up onto it so that she was sitting. She pulled him in closer to her, shifting his body between her thighs. Her hands went up his back, grabbing at his robes. He pulled back for an instant, moaned slightly, and came back with even more strength than before. The hand that had caressed her cheek moved lower, extending underneath her arm, and grabbing at her back. He pulled back again, looked at her. Smiled. He shrugged his head to the right.

"What?" She asked, looking.

In his hand was the tumbler. She laughed. As she watched he very intentionally placed it down on his desk. She turned back to him. He was staring at her with an expression that she couldn't read. It was softer than she had seen before, but also stronger.

"What?" She asked, smiling.

He grinned at her and kissed her again on the mouth briefly before pulling back again and moving to kiss her throat. As she felt the pressure of his lips and tongue, she moaned, closing her eyes. She leaned back to rest on her back. He followed.

Jane grinned. _Screw normal._


	14. Chapter 14

Over a month had gone by. Jane continued to serve detentions with Snape in the same manner. She enjoyed it, a lot. She had to laugh that this was how she was being "punished" for telling him off. Her friends had stopped asking her if she hated her detentions, eventually realizing that she did not hate the detentions, or Snape himself, as they did. A part of her wanted to tell them how wrong they were about him, but she knew she couldn't. Telling them about their relationship would only hurt her – they wouldn't understand and would reject her. Plus, if they knew, then they might tell someone else – she might get expelled, Snape might lose his job, and their relationship would have to end. She had remained quiet about it.

Her schoolwork had made significant improvements. With the help of Neville and Hermione she was no longer behind her fellow fourth years. In fact, she was actually better at some subjects than other fourth year students. She was better than Neville at History of Magic and at Potions, but he didn't seem to mind. Though even he had improved at Potions since Snape had stopped humiliating him. There had been a few times when Snape had clearly been tempted to attack Neville, but each time Jane had been there, given him a warning look, and Snape had backed down. Neville's confidence had improved in other aspects too.

With the tri-wizard tournament's ball coming up, the entire Gryffindor house had been taking dancing lessons where Neville was by far the most graceful and enthusiastic boy. He had asked Jane to accompany him to the ball (as friends) but, seeing as the ball took place on a Friday evening, she had detention. But she told him that if he didn't find someone else that she would ditch Snape to go with him. He had been a little disappointed, but understood. He still blamed himself a little for her having to go to a year's worth of detention, and considering that he had no idea as to how she was spending her detentions, he thought she hated them. A few hours later he had asked the younger sister of Fred, George and Ron to go with him. At first she declined, claiming that she didn't have a dress, but after Jane had offered to help her sew one, Ginny accepted. Jane didn't particularly want to help the younger girl sew a dress, but she wanted to see Neville happy, and she had the experience, so she had offered. They had already done a few fittings and had come up with a pattern. Earlier that week, they had managed to transfigure some old drapes Professor McGonagall had donated to them into a delicate pink satin. They still had plenty of time to make the dress, but Jane wanted to finish it sooner rather than later.

It was a Friday afternoon. Later that evening she would have a "detention" with Snape. Classes had been cancelled for the first tri-wizard challenge. Jane sat with Ginny and Neville now in the podiums in the outdoor arena. They were waiting for Harry to perform the first challenge. He had faced a lot of criticism from the rest of the school. Most people thought that he had manipulated his way into the dangerous challenges and that the only rightful champion was Cedric. Even Ron, Harry's best friend, seemed to doubt him. They had not yet resolved their fight. There were very few students that supported Harry at this point in time, and three out of four of them were there at the moment. Ginny seemed to care about Harry more than she let on. Jane wondered how long her crush had been around, but knew better than to ask. Neville had been proud of his friend from the moment that his name had been called, but was not bold enough to publicly defend him. And Jane, well, she knew that something was wrong even if she didn't know how she knew it.

As they sat shivering partly from cold, partly from anxiety, Hermione made her way up the stairs to sit with them, walking past Ron, who sat with some other boys. He looked after her, clearly offended. She sat next to Ginny.

"He's got to face the Hungarian Hornback. The worst one." She couldn't hide the concern from her face.

"I'm sure he'll be alright Hermione. Even if he isn't that good, there are safety precautions." Said Neville, reassuringly.

"Just like there were precautions around age?" She asked, questioning his calmness.

Ron had returned his gaze to the arena, but continued to look back over his shoulder at Hermione. She was either ignoring him, or was too worried for Harry to notice Ron at all. His annoyance at her dissipated into concern as he kept glancing back at her.

Looking at her friends, Jane realized that she was the only one that noticed Ron.

She had been feeling sick all day. Her stomach had been doing flip-flops since she had woken up that morning. She tried to sleep it off, but it hadn't worked. It was so bad that she had contemplated going to see the school nurse, but had thought better of it. She didn't want to seem like a wimp complaining about a bellyache. Especially not on the day that four students were going to be fighting dragons.

_Harry is going to fight a dragon._

The statement hit her, sending a new wave of nausea through her body. She glanced over at Hermione, wondering if she was feeling the same way. If Jane was this worried for Harry, who was still barely more than an acquaintance, then what must Hermione be going through?

The first student was released into the arena and the attention of the mass was directed to the events that happened there. Jane watched, but didn't let any of it sink in. Her stomach wouldn't let her concentrate.

_Something is wrong. This is not right. _

After a few minutes, the first student was complete. Jane only noticed this when she heard the audience around her burst into applause. She glanced down. Ron was staring at them. Jane looked to Hermione. She was near tears.

Several moments passed, and the second competitor was brought into the arena. Pain suddenly hit her in her gut. She grabbed her side, blurring her eyes. It seemed like seconds but must have been longer. Before she could even begin to pay attention to the tournament, she heard a tremendous round of applause erupt. The second competitor had completed the challenge.

She managed to look ahead of her, focusing her eyes. The dragon was being exchanged with another. Closer to her, Ron was staring back at them, clearly uncomfortable with the distance between them.

_Something is really wrong. _

The pain in her gut grew as the next competitor entered the arena. She closed her eyes, focussing all her attention on not letting herself be sick. Her eyelids forced shut, she missed the events unfolding in front of her, but heard the cumulative gasp as something went wrong. Unable to open her eyes, she waited until the feeling passed. At long last the crown around her cheered. The third competitor had completed the task.

_No. This is wrong. _

"Excuse me."

Jane looked up to see Ron pushing his way down the aisle. He reached Hermione. She was clearly distressed, tears brimming in her eyes, the colour drained from her face. He sat next to her, putting an arm around her.

_NO!_

Pain overwhelmed Jane and she could not prevent herself from hunching forward, grasping her sides.

"Are you okay?"

She tore her eyelids open. Neville was leaning next to her, concern on his face.

"No. It's not okay." She responded, espousing honesty rather than courage.

"Let's get you out of here."

He leaned over further, putting her arm around him, and stood. She allowed herself to place some of her weight on Neville as they began their way down the steps. He looked forward to the arena where Harry had just entered. _I shouldn't make him come with me. He wants to stay. _

As she thought it, another wave of pain came over her. Not expecting it, she almost fell over. Neville averted his eyes from the arena back to Jane.

"You're really not okay." He said it with worry in his voice.

The two of them made their way down the steps as quickly as they could. Finally, they made it out of the arena. As they walked away from the crowd, underneath the bleachers, a wave of pain came over her once more – but different than before. Instantly, she flung her arm close to her torso, trying to deny the scorching pain that seared it, but couldn't. Falling to her knees, she screamed out, but it was overwhelmed by the cumulative gasping of the crowd above them. Something bad had happened to Harry. Almost immediately after, the same crowd erupted in cheers. He had completed.

"Oh my God! Are you okay?" Neville shouted, dropping to her side.

Jane extended her arm delicately forward to examine the damage. Her shirt sleeve had been torn off, her skin blackened and radiating with heat. As they watched, the last bit of flame on the corner of her sleeve extinguished.

Neville looked at the injury and then at her, confusion and fear on his face.


	15. Chapter 15

"You know Harry. I think someone might be trying to kill you."

Jane and Neville walked into the celebration in the Gryffindor common-room just as Ron confronted Harry. He had insisted on going to see the school nurse despite her protests. What would she be able to do? But she had gone, and had had her arm bandaged.

She watched as Harry grinned, happy to have his friend back.

"You're just figuring that out?" Harry asked Ron, who looked down, ashamed.

"Oh boys!" cried Hermione, throwing a hug around Ron.

As she watched the scene, Jane rubbed her arm. It still throbbed from the burn.

"I thought you had had it there near the end. It looked like the dragon got you." Ron exclaimed, gleeful.

"Yeah, me too." Replied Harry, grinning.

Neville looked at Jane and gave her a look. She had made him promise not to say anything to anyone about the burn, and he had agreed, despite clearly not wanting to. She looked at him, and forced a smile before entering the crowd.

"Congratulations Harry!" She said enthusiastically, Neville behind her.

"Yeah. That was really amazing."

Neither Ron nor Hermione noticed the lie. The two of them were ecstatic next to Harry.

At that moment, Fred and George entered the room, carrying with them foods and supplies.

"Party's up!" They called and were swarmed by students.

Jane took that moment to begin heading towards the door – she had to get to detention.

"Oy! Jane! Where do you think you're going?" George called.

"I have to go to detention." She replied, trying to hide her annoyance.

"Oh come on, blow it off. You already have detention for a year – what more could Snape do to you?" he asked, grinning.

"Well, he could probably poison her with something. Turn her into a toad. Make her face into the most hideous thing imaginable. Make her into his s—" Fred began to list.

"Fine fine, I get it. Jane has to go. But does it have to be now?" George asked, looking at her.

"Yes. Actually I'm already late."

Neville glanced at her and then the lock on the wall, knowing that she was early. He gave her a suspicious look. She returned it with a glance down to her arm. _I need to not be here right now. Please understand._ He looked at her again, his eyes widening in understanding.

"But you haven't eaten anything yet!" Protested George.

He leaned over the throng of students to the table where all the snacks had been placed. He retrieved a fistful of munchies and handed it to her.

"Here. We can't let you waste away now, can we?" He said.

Jane looked at him, accepting but questioning his kindness. If it had been any other time, she might have taken a moment to think about it, but as it was, she was desperate to leave,

"Thanks. See you later." She said, turning and walking out the door.

* * *

"You're especially early tonight." Said Snape as he walked into his office finding Jane there.

"Yeah." She said, turning to face him.

He looked at her face, trying to read it.

"Is everything okay?"

She averted her eyes from his for a moment then looked back up, smiling.

"Of course." She replied, standing up.

She walked over to him as he closed and locked his door. Still grinning, she placed her arms around his shoulders and kissed him. His hands rose to her sides, sliding up her shirt to touch her skin. The coolness of his hands was normally welcome, but tonight it gave her shivers. He pulled back.

"Are you sure everything is okay?" He asked, placing a hand on her arm.

Before she could stop herself, she flinched in pain and retracted her arm. She walked over to the chair that she had been originally occupying, and sat down.

"What happened? He asked, coming towards her.

"Nothing. It's nothing,"

He leaned over her, took her arm in his hand, and gently raised the sleeve. He raised his gaze to her face, catching her eyes with his.

"What happened, Jane?"

She looked at him, wondered if she could tell him.

"I got burnt." She replied.

He looked at her, clearly not satisfied with her answer.

"How?"

"Look – do we have to talk about this?" She asked, placing a hand on his thigh.

Snape frowned. Moved her hand from his thigh and stood up.

"How did you get the burn Jane?" He sounded almost angry.

"Fire." She said, feeling heat rise to her face. _How dare he get mad at me? I didn't do anything!_

"Jane – how did you get that burn?" He asked, staring at her eyes.

_He thinks that I did something with the dragons. He thinks that I tried to help one of the contestants cheat._

"If you must know, I fell into the fire in the common-room earlier today." She said, angry and defensive at the same time, "thank you for making me relive my humiliation. It's bad enough that Neville saw it happen."

He looked at her, eyes squinting. For a moment, she thought that he wasn't going to believe her. She held her breath. At long last, he averted his eyes downwards.

"I'm sorry. " He sounded sincere. He stood up and walked towards his desk.

"I'd offer you a drink, but apparently you've already had a little too much." He said, mocking her.

She looked after him, smiling. Glad that for now, he didn't know what had happened, but unaware of why this was reassuring.


	16. Chapter 16

Later that evening, Jane returned to the common-room. It was earlier than normal, but with her arm in the condition it was in – to say nothing of the discomfort from their evening's introduction – she wasn't really in the mood for much activity with Snape.

As she recited the password to let herself in, she realized that the celebrations were ongoing. Feeling more comfortable than earlier after managing to convince Snape she was a clumsy idiot, she decided to remain for a while. She looked around for Neville, but couldn't find him. Hermione was sitting next to Ron and Harry seemingly quite enjoying herself. _Let her have her best friends tonight. Don't bother her. _Glancing around the room, she saw George watching her. She smiled and walked over.

"Hey. You're back early. How did you manage to give Snape the slip?" He asked, handing her a bottle

"I didn't. He let me leave this early." She replied. He cringed. "He really isn't as bad as you all seem to think he is, you know."

"Yeah yeah, so you keep telling us all."

He took a drink of his bottle, smiling at her.

"So, where's your brother?" She asked, realizing how odd it was to see them separated.

He tossed his head to the side of the room. Somewhere in the corner were two heads, barely distinguishable – one with bright red hair, the other with long black hair.

"He asked Angelina to the ball. She said yes." He explained, sounding slightly petulant.

"And what about you?" She asked without really looking at him.

"Why, I would love to go to the ball with you." He said, grinning.

She snapped her head around to face him.

"What? No. I didn't mean that –"She began to backtrack. His grin widened. _He's enjoying this._ "Very funny."

"I think it is, but you asked me. You can't back out."

"I didn't ask you!" She exclaimed. He started laughing.

"Seriously, George. I can't go to the ball at all. I have detention that night." She explained, her voice stern but apologetic.

He stopped laughing.

"Oh." He said, frowning. After a moment though, he smiled. "But I thought Snape was really a decent guy after all. That's what you keep saying."

"He is."

"Then I am sure he won't have an issue in letting you skip out on one detention. It is Christmas. And if not you can just skip out. You're supposed to have guts."

She looked at him. _How can I get out of this? Crap. _He was being logical.

"He's decent, but –" she started

"But nothing. Come with me, Jane. All the good girls already have dates? _Pleeeaaase?_" He begged

Jane examined him. His large, pleading eyes were slightly covered with his scraggly orange bangs. He looked pitiful, but in an adorable way.

"I'll talk to Snape." She said, wondering how she would be able to get out of this.

* * *

"What the hell, Jane!"

She turned around to see Neville storming towards her.

"What?" She asked.

"You're going to the ball with George?" He asked, clearly outraged.

"I –" She began, instantly remembering that he had asked her earlier. She tried to think of an excuse. "I didn't mean to. He kind of tricked me into asking him. I'm not even sure if I am going to be able to go. I have detention. I told him that. But he begged me. "

"So why couldn't you go with me?" He demanded

"For the same reasons that I probably can't go with George. _I have detention._"

"Well, he doesn't seem to think that'll stop you." He whined

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, he's upstairs in the boy's dormitory bragging that you are going to the ball with him. How do you think I feel having to hear it like that?! You're supposed to be my friend."

"What? That's ridiculous. I _very _reluctantly agreed to go with him after he pleaded with me. And I'm not even sure if I'll be able to go at all."

"So why couldn't you have made the same deal with me when I asked you?"

"Because there was still a decent chance of you finding someone else to go with when you asked me. And I mean, if you didn't get a date then I would have gone with you, because I wouldn't abandon you like that. I would have ditched Snape for you, even if it did get me detentions for another year." She said, louder than she had intended, bringing up more guilt than she had intended. "If I can't end up going then George won't be alone. He'll have Fred. He'll always have Fred. And I wouldn't feel nearly as bad ditching him as I would ditching you."

He absorbed what she had said. The anger drained from his face, replaced with guilt.

"Oh." He pouted.

"Yeah." She said, not quite ready to make him feel better. _He had a date. Who I am helping sew a dress. How dare he get mad at me for tentatively agreeing to go with George._

The silence between them would have been awkward if it wasn't for the laboured breathing from their argument. She looked at him, his eyes averted, he looked guilty and ashamed. _He's my friend. _

"I'm sorry." The words falling from her mouth surprised her.

He looked up.

"I should have mentioned it to you myself. I probably would have if I had seen you at the party when I came back last night. Or if I had woke up earlier this morning. I _am_ your friend." She said, her voice somewhat harsh, but sincere.

"I'm sorry too." He said, petulantly, but smiled.

They took a moment, looking at each other.

"Are we cool?" She asked

"Yeah. But I don't like keeping secrets." He said, nodding to her arm.

She took in what he had said, nodding, but having nothing to say.

"How is it?" He asked, coming to sit next to her.

"It's feeling better. Actually, it's feeling a lot better." She told him.

"How did it happen?" He asked

"I don't know."


	17. Chapter 17

Jane let herself into Snape's office, not bothering to knock. She no longer needed to break in. He now left it unlocked for her. He always left it unlocked for her, with the music playing.

"Hi." He said as she walked in.

"Hi." She answered, smiling.

She closed the door behind her, leaned against it, locking it. She looked at him and grinned.

"How are you?" He asked as he stood and began walking over to her.

She waited until he was directly in front of her before replying.

"Decent. Yourself?"

"Same." He said, smiling down at her.

They paused a moment, standing inches in front of one another. They each stared at the other, waiting for one to move.

"Did you have a pleasant day?" She asked, cocking her head to one side, her hair falling from behind her ear and onto her cheek.

"As pleasant as any other I suppose." He replied, brushing the hair from her face. His hand remained. "And you?"

"Same." She replied, repeating his answer intentionally.

She exhaled slowly, letting her shoulders fall subtly and tilting her head back.

"Same." He replied, not realizing that she hadn't asked him anything.

"Same." She repeated, warmly mockingly him, grinning.

He laughed, rolled his eyes, and leaned in to kiss her. She lifted her arms around him, pulling his body close to hers. He withdrew from her mouth and began kissing her face softly.

"Any impending plans?" She asked.

He chuckled.

"I can think of a few." He replied between kisses. "Yourself?"

"Actually yes. I do."

More chuckling.

"Anything specific?" He asked, clearly assuming they had the same thing in mind.

"Well, I've been invited to the ball." She said.

He stopped kissing, pulled his head back.

"Have you now? By who?" He asked

"Yes. Why – are you jealous?" She asked jokingly before realizing that it was accurate. His mocking face fell a little.

"George Weasely invited me."

"I see." He said. Stepping back and giving her a curious look.

"I told him that I would go with him." She continued.

"Okay." He said, not sure why she was telling him.

"But that it would have to be _after_ my 'detention'."

He looked at her with earnest yet angry eyes.

"If you would prefer to go to the ball you can. You don't _have _to come here you know." He said it, sounding hurt and a little harsh.

He averted his eyes from hers momentarily before returning them with a coldness she hadn't seen in months. He was waiting for her response.

"I realize that. I realized that quite a while ago." She said, reaching towards him and pulling him closer to him. "I said that to him because I _wanted _to come here beforehand."

He hesitantly let her pull him. She kissed him gently as he stared at her. She looked up at him, smiled softly. She kissed him again – once on the lips, then once on the cheek, then once on the tip of his nose, once on his earlobe.

"I want to be here." She whispered.

He still stood there, silent. But his facial expression had changed. Warmed slightly. His eyes had closed. She kissed the place where his jaw bone met his neck. Her hands moved up his body to either side of his face. She kissed the side of his neck where she could feel his pulse. The nook of his neck.

"I want to be here." She repeated, pulling her head back to look him in the eye.

His eyelids fluttered open. For a moment he stared at her completely open.

"I want to be here." She said once again, soft yet adamant.

Finally, he responded. He leaned in, pressing his lips to hers, pushing his tongue into her mouth. Her arms lifted once again around him, bringing their bodies closer. His did the same around her waist. The force of him pressed her back, she stumbled until hitting the door with her back, Snape stumbling until he hit her body with his. His hands shifted, finding their way up the back of her shirt. His cool hands giving her goose bumps, making her press herself forward into him even more. She heard him moan as he lifted back his head long enough to pull off her shirt. She raised her arms, familiar with the routine. His mouth was back on hers before her shirt hit the floor. His mouth on hers. Her earlobe. Her neck. Her shoulder. The swell of her breast. Her abdomen. His hands on her face. Her arms. Her thighs.

"I really really really want to be here." She shuddered between breaths as she said it.


	18. Chapter 18

Jane walked into the great-hall the next afternoon and scanned its occupants. After a moment she saw a pair of matching red heads. She made her way over to them and sat down.

"So I talked to Snape." She said to one.

"I'm not George. I'm Fred." He replied, smiling at her.

"Yes, you are." She said to him. She turned her head to the other. "Good morning Fred."

"Morning, Jane." He replied, shrugging.

"How do you always do that?" Asked George

"And I will only be able to attend the later parts of the ball with you." She said, ignoring his question.

"Oh." He said, failing to hide his disappointment.

"I'm sorry, but it's the best I could do." She said wearing a mask of sincerity.

"That's okay. I get it. Snape's evil."

Jane rolled her eyes and released a sigh.

"But you'll be able to go to like half of it, right?" He asked hope rising in his voice

"Yeah. But I will miss the meal and the first formal dance. You really should ask someone else George." She answered, hoping to deflect him.

"Nah. It'll be fine. I can eat with Freddy-boy here." He said, smiling as he pointed towards his brother who was having a conversation with Angelina, the girl with black hair he had been with at the celebration.

"What?" He spun his head around upon hearing his name, but quickly returned his attention to Angelina.

"You just better look your best." He said, smiling.

"I'll be sure not to show up in my pyjamas." She retorted, smiling back at him.

* * *

Later that afternoon, Jane went for a run. She made her way down her normal path. It was colder than it had been earlier, so she had been forced to put on a sweater. But other than that, it was exactly as it had been before.

It had been nearly two months since she had gone for a run. It hadn't occurred to her that she missed it until Neville asked her why she had stopped. _Because I'm getting my cardio in other ways now. _She smiled. It was nice to feel the wind against her face again. The stinging in her calves, thighs, sides and lungs. It felt good to feel her blood pumping through her again.

She made her way down towards the lake and then along the shore, eventually reaching her tree. She let herself lean forward to rest her arms and torso on her knees, breathing slightly harder than she had the previous time. _I'm getting out of shape. I need to keep running._ But even as she thought it she let herself fall to her knees. She rolled over and lay down on her back, looking through the empty branches of the tree to the sky.

_Okay. I'm okay. Things are good._

She closed her eyes and inhaled deeply, holding the breath in for a moment before releasing it. _Things are really good_. She grinned widely.

She opened her eyes, got to her feet and began to make her way back up to the school.


	19. Chapter 19

"Okay – let's see it." Jane called out to Ginny.

Ginny walked into the room where her and Hermione sat waiting. They were doing the finishing touches on Ginny's dress. The ball was only days away. Ginny sashayed into the room, swinging her hips back and forth, dancing a little every now and then.

"Okay... okay... Can you jump for me?" She asked the redhead.

Ginny gave Jane a sceptical look, but did as she asked anyways. As she landed, she stepped on the back of her dress, nearly stumbling. Jane stood and walked over to the girl, bending down beside her.

"We're going to have to lift this back up a little bit so you don't trip at the ball." She said efficiently, without adding inflection to the statement.

Above her, Ginny nodded.

"Okay."

Jane looked up at the redhead. She had learnt a lot in the past several weeks, managing to sew the dress she was wearing nearly entirely herself.

"Here. I'll mark to hem it to." Said Jane as she folded and inserted needles into the material. When she was finished she stood up, took a step back and examined the dress.

"That looks really good Ginny. You did an amazing job." She said, smiling.

"Thanks." Replied Ginny proudly.

"That really does look incredible on you, Ginny." Said Hermione, still sitting on the bed.

"I really appreciate all your help Jane." Ginny said, looking at her.

"Not a problem. It was actually kind of a nice refresher. It's been a while since I did any sewing."

"So Jane, if you're spending all your time helping Ginny with her dress, what are you wearing?" asked Hermione.

"Oh, I have a dress that I wore last year that I can use again. It still fits." Jane replied, smiling as she thought of the dress. She had pulled it out of her trunk a few days previous and tried it on. It still fit her alright. It still fit her perfectly.

"So then you're all done with sewing?"Asked Ginny – a little too eagerly.

"Why?" She asked.

Ginny looked down, turning red slightly.

"My brother. Ron. He, umm, his formal wear is, well, it's _traditional_." She said hesitantly.

"Define traditional."

"Burgundy. With ruffles. And a funny smell to it."

Hermione chuckled from the bed.

"Good. Serves him right!"

"Excuse me?" Asked Ginny, suddenly defensive.

"Oh. Right. Sorry. It's just that he's been such an infuriating prat to me lately. It wouldn't hurt him to be a little more humble." She explained, blushing slightly.

"There is a difference between being humbled and being humiliated." Ginny replied to Hermione curtly.

"Anyway, look, Jane. I realize that it's last minute and you probably won't be able to, but could you take a look and see if there's anything you could do?" She asked sweetly.

Jane looked between the two girls, not wanting to pick a side, but realizing that she would have to.

"I only ask because you're so good at the stuff. I mean, you practically made this dress for me – and look how beautiful it is!" She exclaimed, indicating her dress. "And yes, I realize that you made me do most of the work, but you told me how to do everything every step of the way. Never mind the times when you went back and redid parts that I had already done."

Jane smiled. She hadn't realized that Ginny had been aware of that. She looked up at the redhead who was staring at her with wide eyes.

"Please?"

* * *

Jane stood in front of the door for the fourth year boys. She knocked, waiting to be let in. Neville opened the door.

"Oh. Hi Jane." He said, pleasantly surprised to see her. "What's going on?"

"Hello Neville. Is Ron here?" She asked

"Yeah. Just a second."

He opened the door wider so that she could get in before walking over and tapping Ron on the shoulder.

"Yeah?" He asked, looking curious.

"Your sister mentioned something about your formal coat." She said.

Ron looked at her blankly.

"She seemed to think that you might want to do something to it."

"Yeah. I'd like to burn it."

Jane rolled her eyes and chuckled.

"I'm pretty decent with a thread and needle. I might be able to do something to make it better. Can I see it?"

Ron's eyes widened a little.

"Really? You could do that?" He asked, hope infiltrating every syllable.

"I might." She said, comfortingly. "But I need to see it first."

"Of course, come in." He said, rushing towards his bed. He opened the trunk sitting at the end of it and rummaged around inside of it. After a moment, he pulled out something and brought it over to Jane.

"Well?" He asked as he handed it to her. "Is there hope?"

She examined the coat. The material itself was patterned burgundy velvet. The trim was lace. _No. There really isn't._

"Not for this jacket unfortunately." She said, handing it back to Ron.

The disappointment seeped into his face. His eyes shot downward, his lips into a frown.

"Oh." He said in the most dejected voice she had heard in ages.

Jane looked at him, realized the hope that she had just ripped from him. _I can't just leave him like that. Not after making him think that I might be able to do something for him.__ He'll be humiliated in this jacket._ An image of herself, years ago, in an ill-fitting ensemble, being laughed at came to her mind. _I can't let that happen. _

"So I guess we're going to have to start completely fresh."

He looked up at her, eyes wide. They asked the question his voice couldn't.

"I probably won't have time to have a liner made, and I may have to use the shoulder pads from that one, but I might be able to pull off making you a new jacket in time for the ball."

His eyes brightened as she spoke, a grin spreading wide across his face.

"Thank you. Thank you thank you thank you thank you!" He exclaimed

"If there were any more time I would be making you do it yourself." She added in a scolding tone. "Next time something like this comes up and you think you might want my help – you ask early."

"Yes, yes, of course. Thank you so much Jane."

"Not a problem." She said, watching his ecstasy.

"Now – let's get you measured."


	20. Chapter 20

"Okay, now lift up your arms." Commanded Jane.

Ron did as he was told, extending his arms out to make a horizontal line – from hand, to elbow, to shoulder and back again on the other side. He had to be uncomfortable, but was grinning regardless.

He looked down at her as she worked, pinning in bits of fabric around the bottom of his jacket.

She had begun work immediately on the jacket after offering her help. She had managed to reuse the material from the original jacket, transfiguring it into a solid black colour of a lighter material. To her pleasant surprise, she had been able to keep most of the original garment – cutting her work more than in half. She had, however, had to remove the lace trim, and the lining had needed some work. The arms had been too long, and the torso of the jacket a little too large. But fortunately, all that had been required of her was some minor tailoring – nothing nearly as difficult or time-consuming as Ginny's dress had been.

"Okay. Great. Now take it off please." She said, smiling up at him.

Again, he did as he was told, removing his arms gingerly from the jacket that had transformed – afraid that he might pull out a needle. He handed it to her. Jane took it and sat down, pulling out her needle and thread to work on the hem.

"It shouldn't be long. It looks really good Ron. I just need to bring this last hem up a little." She said into the jacket.

"Okay, thanks." He replied, grinning.

"Not a problem." She said, smiling up at him for an instant.

Ron remained standing, watching her as she worked. He shifted his weight uncomfortably. Jane paused, looked up at him, her eyes squinting.

"Yes?" She asked, shifting her head back in friendly suspicion

"Uh, Jane – why are you doing this?" He asked awkwardly.

Her face warmed. Looking at him, she saw his discomfort, his ill-fittingness, his awkwardness.

"Because I know what it's like to need to look the part and how hard it can be to do that." She replied vaguely.

He looked at her, absorbing her comments. After a moment, the door to the dorm entered and Harry entered.

"Ron – are you ready?" He asked, already wearing his formalwear.

Ron looked at Jane expectantly who was just finishing her stitches. She smiled and handed him the finished product.

"Yup." He said happily as he put on his jacket.

* * *

Jane made her way down to Snape's office as the other students dressed in their formalwear congregated in the common-room, awaiting instructions from Professor McGonagall. As she past them, she smiled and waved at her friends, most looking a combination of anxious and uncomfortable. Professor McGonagall gave her a look as she past, but said nothing.

She walked quietly down the stairs, avoiding the crowds that were waiting in anticipation of the ball, made her way down hallways and corridors, and found her way to Snape's door. From inside his office she could hear the familiar music playing. She turned the doorknob, smiling as she confirmed that it was unlocked.

Snape was sitting at his desk, drink in hand. Next to him was another tumbler. He looked up as she entered, smiled. She walked over to the desk and took the drink that he had poured for her.

"Evening." She said, grinning.

"Evening." He repeated.

Jane took a sip of the drink, and turned from him, walking towards the fire. Looking at the flames, she heard him stand and follow her. Within a moment he had made his way to standing directly behind her. She let her body lean against his. He turned his head slightly, smelling her hair, as he placed a hand on her side.

"How are you?" He asked before kissing her neck.

She smiled and released a soft chuckle.

"I'm alright. And yourself?" She asked with mock civility.

"Better now." He said, matching her chuckle.

She turned to face him, drink still in hand. Looking up at his face, her smile fell into a more serious expression. She placed her hand around his neck and pulled him towards her, kissing him. His other hand came up to find the curve of her back then gently working its way downwards. She started to laugh. He pulled his head back to look at her.

She nodded towards her left hand, where she still held the tumbler. He matched her laughter, took it from her hand, placed it on the shelf next to them, and returned his hand to its former location. As he leaned in to kiss her again, she shifted her head, squinting.

Footsteps in the hallway.

_Crap!_

Snape heard them to, and moved to the door to lock just as someone knocked on it, trying to turn the knob. He looked at Jane with serious eyes. _We can't get caught._ Moving quickly, she sat in one of the chairs in front of his desk and pulled some papers from his side of the desk. Turning to face Snape, she nodded. _Ready. _He opened the door.

"May I have a word with you Professor Snape?" Asked Professor McGonagall, peering in to see Jane and then returning her harsh gaze to Snape.

"Of course." He replied, stepping into the hallway.

Jane released a sigh of relief. McGonagall hadn't walked in on them. _Wouldn't that have been ridiculous. Seriously – this is NOT normal. _As she thought it, she smiled.

She could make out little of the conversation in the hallway, what little she could were the agitated words of McGonagall. _"...inappropriate...excessive...holidays..." _Jane closed her eyes for an instant, not letting herself wonder what was unfolding on the other side of the door. After a moment, the door opened again, and the two professors entered.

"Jane – Professor Snape _forgot_ that he had other responsibilities this evening." Stated Professor McGonagall, shooting a dirty look at her colleague.

Jane looked at her a moment, not entirely sure of what she was supposed to do.

"You may leave." Said Snape with an expression she couldn't read.

"Go and join your friends at the ball, Jane." Said McGonagall in what was intended to be a warm voice.

She averted her eyes to Snape._ I don't want to go!_ Her gaze returned to McGonagall. _But I have to. _Without commenting or further pausing, Jane stood and walked past the two professors.


	21. Chapter 21

Jane stood in front of the mirror twenty minutes later. After having her evening with Snape interrupted, she had no other option but to leave him and go to the ball with George. Had she argued, McGonnogal would have gotten suspicious. She had no choice. But she felt bad about it.

After leaving his office, she had made her way back up to her dorm, where she quickly changed. She finished pinning her hair into place in a tight bun as she watched her reflection. She had originally made her dress for another outing months earlier, but it still fit her well enough for the evening's ball. Made from a gold satin-like material, it followed the curves of her body from chest to toe. The softened square neckline was lined with a thick trim which went over her shoulders to become her straps, falling down her back to reach the matching softened square line that bound the dress together just below the curve of her back. Checking to make sure that all her bits were in place, she left the mirror and made her way down to the great-hall.

Her way to the great-hall was solitary, most students and faculty were already there. As she neared the room she heard the familiar music of a string quartet. She smiled, suddenly looking forward to the ball despite having had to leave Snape.

She turned a corner and began to make her way down the final set of stairs before the great-hall. As she walked down, the heels of her gold sandals made a soft clicking sound and the back hem of her dress floated out behind her. As she descended, a figure cut out into the entrance ahead of her. Dressed in black formalwear and looking uncomfortable, Snape made his way towards the door before glancing in her direction. When he did, he paused. Smiling at him, she made her way towards him.

"You look –" He began, but stopped. He stared at her.

"Thank you." She said after realizing he wasn't going to finish his sentence. "I should get in there – wouldn't want to leave George waiting."

He nodded, realizing that she was right. She walked ahead of him into the room where the rest of the school had congregated. He watched her as she went. She smiled, knowing that as she walked away he would see the naked skin of her back.

She entered the ballroom. There were students dancing already – Harry among them. She smiled and waved as she saw Neville and Ginny dancing, both of whom waved back. She looked past the throng of dancers to try and find George. At the opposite side of the room, he sat with his brother and Angelina. A thin blond boy sat at the table next to them with several others, ignoring the twins.

Jane made her way around the dance floor to where they sat. As she approached George looked up. Upon seeing her, he paused, staring as she came forward. When she reached the table he continued to stare. Although she was smiling, she squinted.

"What?" She asked, suspicious.

"Holy crap." He replied.

She looked at him, eyes widening. The tips of his ears turned slightly more pink than their normal shade. He averted his eyes.

"Holy crap?"

"I mean, you look nice." He said, the crimson shade deepening and spreading to his cheeks. She laughed.

"So do you." She said, sitting down next to him. "Have I missed much?"

"Nope. The dancing just started. And I saved you some food." He said, pulling a plate towards her as he plucked the napkin off of it.

She examined the offering. Mashed potatoes, vegetables, and some miscellaneous meats cluttered the nearly overflowing plate.

"I wanted to make sure you had enough." He said, noticing the look she gave it.

She looked up at her date. Despite his formalwear, he still managed to look thrown together. His orange hair fell into his wide, hazel eyes, and a button on his shirt was undone. She grinned.

"Thanks." She replied.

"Hey!" Came a voice from behind them.

Jane and George turned to see Neville coming towards them.

"You're here early." He said to Jane.

At that moment, the boy at the next table turned to face them. His eyes narrowed and the corners of his lips curled up.

"I hope you don't mind George, but at some point I'm going to have to steal Jane for a dance." He said jovially.

The thin blond boy began cackling.

"Don't you think she's a little out of your league Longbottom?" He asked between laughs.

Neville's face fell slightly before anger rose up in it. Jane turned to face the boy, looking him in the eyes, ready to defend her friend.

_I know him._

The revelation stunned her silent.

"I mean, I know she pretends to be your friend, but there's a reason she isn't here with you." He continued.

Neville's face drained of its colour. She had to act.

"Do I know you?" She asked the boy

He stopped laughing long enough to look at her.

"Not yet. But you will need to if you ever want to improve upon your current social circle." He said.

"I doubt that. But, considering that I don't know you, and don't intend to make an effort to do so, would you mind horribly leaving me and my friends the hell alone?" She replied coolly.

The boy looked at her face, examining it for a sign of her joking. Finding none, the colour in his face drained. He looked almost ready to challenge her, but stopped as she caught his gaze in hers. Instead he turned around, back to his table. Jane returned her attention to Neville.

"I would love to dance."

* * *

Several hours later, the ball was winding down. Jane had enjoyed herself, spending most of the evening chatting with George, but occasionally dancing. Neville and Ginny had sat with them, and the four of them (Fred and Angelina had mysteriously disappeared) had fun. Harry and Ron had come over to sit with them, neither feeling much like dancing, but their dour moods had been unwelcome. After only a few minutes, Ginny and Neville, as with Jane and George, made their way on to the dance floor, leaving the other two to pout.

"What's with those two?" Asked George as he placed his arms around her, slightly uncomfortable at touching her skin.

Jane turned to the boys – each were staring out at the dancers with a contemptuous look on their face. Ron towards Hermione, and Harry towards Cedric.

"I haven't the slightest idea." She responded, lying. She did not want George gaining ammunition for mocking his younger brother.

As Jane and George danced, Harry stood up and walked out of the room. Hermione, noticing this, left the dance floor to go see Ron, her date following. Jane watched them whenever she could face them. After a moment of them chatting, Ron stood angrily. He took several steps towards Hermione's date and said something to him. Hermione's date said something to Hermione, turned and then walked away. Ron turned back to Hermione, who started to yell at him.

"Uh oh." Jane said to George, pulling back from him. He turned to see the scene.

Ron and Hermione were pointing fingers at one another, clearly having a fight. After saying something undistinguishable to him, she turned and walked away, heading towards the door. Ron followed.

Jane gave George a concerned look, which he matched. They followed after them, making their way through the crowd of dancers.

"You always ruin everything!" Hermione shouted at Ron, loud enough for Jane and George to hear.

By the time the two of them had emerged from the ballroom, Hermione had stormed off, leaving Ron standing in the entrance to the great-hall, slightly purple.

"But – that's ridiculous." He muttered to himself.

George came up behind his younger brother, placing a hand on his shoulder. Ron turned to him.

"Did you hear that? Can you believe her? She's being completely insane!" He said loudly.

George nodded. Ron continued. As Ron talked, George looked over at Jane with apologetic eyes. He began to walk with his brother towards the Griffyndor common-room. Jane nodded, understanding his unsaid reasoning.

She turned around to face the ballroom, but decided against returning. The evening was winding down, and the only people left were couples. Instead of going into the room and sitting alone before heading up to bed, she decided to go for a walk. Turning in the opposite direction that George and Ron had taken, she headed towards the courtyard.

As she reached the center of the school, she rested against a large stone pillar, turning her head up and looking at the night sky. As she stared, she heard footsteps approaching. She glanced over her shoulder to see Snape coming towards her.

Smiling at him, she returned her gaze to the stars.

She felt him as he came up behind her, as close as they had been earlier in the night.

"You must be cold." He said, pressing his body towards her exposed back, shielding her from the cold December air.

"Thanks." She said. She continued looking towards the sky in silence.

"You look stunning." He said softly into her ear.

"Thank you." She replied without looking at him. "George's response was 'Holy crap'."

"He thought you looked stunning too." He said in a voice she couldn't quite place after a moment of silence.

"Did he now?"

"Yes."

She sighed, letting herself lean back against him. Her eyes remained upturned.

"He has feelings for you." Snape said, his voice smaller than usual.

"And how would you know that?" She asked, gently mocking him

"The way he looked at you. All night. You only look at someone like that if you care for them." He explained with a soft tone.

"And that must mean he loves me." She replied, still mocking him.

He was silent.

"Oh, come on now." She said, elbowing him. "That's ridiculous."

"Is it?" He asked.

"Yes. Just because someone watches someone else doesn't mean that they're in love with them." She said after a moment of silence.

He remained without words.

"I mean, come on. _You_ were watching _him_ all night. You don't love him now, do you?" She asked, still joking.

"No." He replied after a moment of hesitation.

"See?"

"But I only noticed him because I was watching you." He said quickly, trying to argue his case, before he could realize the implication.

It took her a moment to absorb what he had said. She stiffened a little, unintentionally lifting her body from his.

"Oh." She said, suddenly uncomfortable. Her stomach clenched itself and released with a slight spasm.

His hands found her arms and rubbed them.

"Have a Merry Christmas." He said, squeezing her before releasing her and walking away.


	22. Chapter 22

Despite the cold weather, Jane went for a run. She had gone to bed shortly after the episode with Snape the previous evening, but had not managed to fall asleep. In fact, she hadn't managed to fall asleep at all. She lay in bed, staring up at the material that provided her privacy from the other girls in her dorm trying to stop herself from thinking, knowing that she would never be able to.

When dawn had come it had been both a blessing and a curse. She no longer needed to stay in bed staring at the ceiling of her canopy, but she knew that it also signified that she would not be able to get any sleep. Finally, restless, she had thrown on her running-wear, layering several sweaters overtop of her normal attire so that she would keep warm.

She had quietly made her way out of the dorm and the common-room. No one else had awoken yet, most of them having only gotten to bed a few hours previous. She had passed through halls and corridors on her way out of the castle, the sound of her soft steps echoing in the solitude. She made her way past the courtyard where she had stood the previous night with Snape, intentionally ignoring it. Finally, she reached the front doors. Pushing them open, she let herself out into the freezing morning.

She began to run, one foot in front of the other. The normally welcome wind ripped at her skin as it whizzed by her, stinging her. Within minutes, her sides began to ache. Moments after that, her thighs began to burn. Keep going. The cold air passed through her thin pants, piercing her legs. Run through it. Her lungs filled, painfully, she expelled their contents. Run though the hurt.

She pressed on, picking up speed. The air got colder as she approached the lake – with no trees to block the wind, it hit her with more force. Ignore it. She turned once she got to the shore and followed it in her normal direction, eager to find solace.

Finally she reached her tree. There was a layer of snow on the ground, but her body was already numb. She sat down on it, resting against the trunk.

What the hell did he mean? He couldn't have possibly meant – could he have? No. I probably just misunderstood what he had said.

She closed her eyes, cutting out the stinging wind and light.

But then why did he leave so fast afterwards? No. He couldn't. It's too stupid. Why – how? She reflected on their time together. The friendly conversations. The understanding they had of one another. We get each other, know each other well enough to predict our reactions. The physical relationship, which was surprisingly good. They constantly wanted each other, wanting to give to and receive from the other pleasure. It would make sense – no. No it wouldn't. Stop thinking about it.

Forcing her eyes open she stared out over the lake to the castle. Think about something else.

Should I get him a Christmas present? I can't. No money. But I really should do something for him – never mind Neville, George, Hermione and the others.

She frowned, realizing her inability to provide gifts for them.

I need to do something. They'll get it if I don't have big presents for them. I could – what could I do? I could bake cookies. She cringed at the cliché. But what else can I do?

She nodded. Content with her decision.

But will that be enough for him? He might get me something more – Stop.

Think about something – anything – else.

Who was that boy last night? How do I know him? I've never met him before. Or have I? She searched for any memory of him. Yes. I have. I've seen him around. But that's the first time that I've spoken with him. That's the first time that I've been within ten feet of him. So then how do I know him?

She let the back of her head fall to hit the trunk. She closed her eyes again. She was tired. Too tired to think these thoughts.

Determined to do something, she arose and began her trip back up to her dorm. If she couldn't sleep, she would bake cookies.

* * *

Several hours later, she walked into the Gryffindor common-room. She carried with her a bag containing within it several parcels filled with cookies. There was flour on her shirt, under her nails, and (unknown to her) on her face. But at least she had managed to finish baking. Sighing, she made her way up to her dorm where she placed her bag down and let herself fall on her bed.

"George's been looking for you." Came Hermione's voice from her bed.

Jane looked up and over at her friend.

"Was he now?" She asked sleepily.

"Yeah." She began, getting out of bed. "He asked me to ask you to get a hold of him."

Jane nodded.

"Kay. Thanks."

She let her head fall down onto her pillow, her eyelids drifting shut. No. I don't want to go find George. Sleeeeeeeep. She forced her eyes open. But I have to. I can't just tell him that I'm too tired. He'll wonder why. He doesn't know what happened after he left.

Crap.

Instantly her thoughts travelled to the previous night's encounter. The clear night sky. His protective presence behind her. His hands on her arms. The implication.

He couldn't have meant – stop it. Now. Do not think about this.

She forced herself to sit up and swing her legs over the side of the bed. Rubbing her temples slightly (getting flour in her hair) she pulled herself out of bed.

Go find George. Think about Snape later.

* * *

"Been busy, have we?" Asked George, grinning, as she approached him.

She had found him in the great-hall sitting with Fred. She looked down at herself. I look like hell. The realization hit her.

"Yup." She replied, smiling a little. "I don't do the domestic thing very often, or even very well, but when I do it, I go all out."

"Has Hogwarts domesticated you? Can it be true?" Asked Fred with mock shock

"No. But I can put on the face of domestication when I want to." She replied, trying not to sound too contemptuous. She was tired, it was harder than usual. She sighed and sat down.

"Are you alright?" Asked George, his expression filled with concern.

She looked at him, wondering if she could lie to him. His face told her no. She wondered if she could be honest with him.

"Uh, I'm just a little tired. The domestic thing is somewhat trying." She told him honestly while still completely avoiding the truth.

He looked at her, pausing for a moment to absorb her response. Oh crap. He doesn't buy it. Finally, he redirected his gaze elsewhere. The conversation continued, Jane on the outside of it.

I can't tell him. I can't tell any of them. Not about this.

Not about me.

The realization depressed her. She had known it before, always had. But she had never wanted to share with her friends anything of her other self until now.

I can't.

"Hey."

She looked up from her thoughts, George was looking at her intently.

"Are you sure you're alright?" He asked, more concerned than before.

Crap.

"Yeah. Just tired. I think that I'll head up to bed." She told him, getting up.

"I'll walk you." He said enthusiastically, getting up from his seat.

She paused, deliberating whether or not to argue, but decided against it. Why?

The two of them exited the great-hall and began making their way up to the Gryffindor common-room.

"Umm, Jane?" He asked cautiously once they were alone, his voice wavering.

"Yeah?" She replied, turning to face him.

"About last night – " he began, his gaze falling to the floor.

Panic surged through her. He can't know. I don't even know for sure.

"I had a really great time." He finished his sentence, looking up at her once again.

A wave of relief came over her. So then why the discussion? She looked at his face, the way he was looking at her. Snape was right.

"Oh. Me too." She said, not wanting to encourage him, but not wanting to alienate him either.

"And I wanted to apologize. I'm sorry that I had to run off like that." He said.

She stared at him momentarily. Yes, he really is sorry. Crap. Discomfort had entered into the hallway with them.

Don't hurt him. Be nice. Just ignore it.

"That's okay." She said, smiling.

Turning from him, she continued walking towards the common-room, leaving the scene behind her.


	23. Chapter 23

Jane awoke the next morning feeling more rested than the previous day, but still uncomfortable. The sun streamed in through the window, catching dust particles in the air and illuminating every sepia inch of the room.

She glanced at the other beds in the room. Hermione, as with the two other girls that shared the room, were absent. She was alone. Stretching, she slid out of bed, her feet hitting the floor softly. As she began to walk out of the room, she reached to grab the sweater that she kept at the foot of her bed, but instead of them clutching the soft, thick cotton, they hit something warm and alive. Turning to see what it was, she paused. An orange and white ball of fur peered up at her with bright, wide eyes. It was a kitten. Next to a pile of presents.

Her impulse to leave suddenly gone, she sat next to the gifts, picking up the kitten and placing it on her lap, absent-mindedly petting it while it purred.

"Hi there. Who are you?"

The kitten responded with a louder purr, nudging its head against Jane's fingers. She began to scratch the back of the kitten's neck, finding a collar with a tag on it. _To Jane, From Neville._

She was shocked. She looked around the room, wondering if this was something she should be doing. _What if it's a mistake? What if these belong to someone else? _But no one was there.

She put the kitten into her lap. It curled into a ball and closed its eyes.

She looked at the other gifts at the foot of her bed. Lifting up another, she read the tag again. _Ho ho ho Jane! George. _She began peeling back the wrapping, this time more eagerly. Inside was another box, this one clearly reused. She opened it and found a dozen or so small candies. Her eyes squinting, she wondered whether these were meant for her pleasure or his.

She moved on to the next. Quickly, she scanned the tag. _Thanks for all your help Jane! Ginny. _She pulled back the paper, inside was a picture frame containing an image of Jane, Ginny and Hermione taken the night of the ball. All three were laughing, tossing their heads back and forth at something one of them had said, none of them looking at the camera. She hadn't remembered the picture being taken, but was glad that it had.

Jane took a moment to gaze at the moving picture before moving on. She tore through the remaining gifts on her bed. From Hermione, she received a book on pattern making. She smiled, not surprised. From Ron, Jane got several small boxes of _Every Flavour Jelly Bean._ Smiling at herself, she knew that he had had to throw something together for her.

Placing these aside she looked back to the foot of the bed. She tossed the wrapping that she had torn off onto the floor expectantly. Nothing was there.

_Snape didn't get me anything. _

The thought formed in her mind before she could stop it. Disappointment drew the smile from her face. She was hurt. She darted her eyes downwards to the sleeping kitten on her lap, she placed her hand on the tiny, warm body.

_See – it wasn'__t what I__ thought it meant. _

Another wave of disappointment fell over her, surprising her. _Why does that bother me? Why would he get me a gift? Why would he love me? _

A dull throb deep in her belly made her discomfort physical.

_Oh crap. _

_I__'ve __turned into a normal fourteen year old girl. _

"You got me a kitten?" Exclaimed Jane as she headed towards Neville in the common-room. She held the tiny creature in her hands.

Neville looked at her and grinned.

"Well, I remember you saying that you liked cats. I thought you might like him." He replied

"I love him!" She exclaimed, leaning in and placing a quick kiss on Neville's cheek. "Thank you so much."

She sat down next to Neville, kitten still in hand, and looked at him.

"I feel bad though. All I got you were some cookies." She said, returning her gaze back to the kitten, unable to keep them away.

"No. You got me more." He said, his voice sounding a little odd.

Jane looked up at her friend who was smiling at her awkwardly.

"You got me a friend. So I got you one. Plus, they were really good cookies." He said, trying to dismiss the sentimentality.

"Actually, you got me two." She replied, equally awkward but with a comforting tone.

They sat there a while, waiting for the moment to pass.

"So, have you named him yet?" He asked, eager.

"No. I thought you might like to be in on it." She replied honestly. Looking up, she saw him smile.

"How about Pumpkin?" He suggested.

"Nah. Too normal. I want him to fit into this world."

"Okay then, how about... Flufflepuff?"

"Nah, too obvious." She replied, laughing. "Besides, I want him to have an imposing name, something almost threatening. I want his name to have a presence to it. I love the idea of his name being ironic."

"Frankenstein?"

"DiddleVon!"

"What? DiddleVon? That's a stupid name!"

"Nuh-uhn." She replied, grinning up at Neville as DiddleVon awoke, curled to his side and stretched, paws out in the air, claws exposed, mouth wide in a yawn. "See! He's a monster!"

Neville laughed.

"But seriously Jane, DiddleVon? That's a ridiculous name!"

"So? All the names in this world are."

He looked at her with confusion, mildly offended.

"Oh come on, you haven't noticed it? Hagrid? Minerva? Severus? Moody? Hufflepuff? Gyffindor? Slytherin? Ravenclaw – do ravens even have scary claws? Oh wait, yes they do. Never mind that one. How about Dumbledore. It's dumb! Literally! I mean, come on! Hog-warts! Hog-warts! Warts and hogs do not an imposing implication create."

He laughed. Finally nodding his head.

"Fine fine, you win. DiddleVon it is." He conceded, reaching over to pet him, "Honestly, I don't even know why you asked for my help if you weren't going to use it."


	24. Chapter 24

Jane sat cross-legged on her bed with DiddleVon rolling around in front of her, mewing and stretching his paws, trying to catch Jane's sleeve. It was a Friday evening. She would have to go to "detention" soon. Her stomach had lodged itself into her throat.

_What the hell? What did he mean? But then why didn't he get me a Christmas gift? Why do I even care? I don't care. I don't. _

_Good God this is punishment. _She smiled as the thought occurred to her.

DiddleVon's claw caught and clung to her sleeve, pulling Jane's attention towards the kitten. His eyes were even wider than normal, gleeful that he had captured something. His tail twitched back and forth as his eyes focused on drawing the sleeve and Jane closer to him. Smiling, she removed his claw from her shirt and picked him up so that she was cradling him. He looked up at her and began to purr. She rubbed the back of his ears to placate him further and returned to her thoughts.

_I shouldnt care.__ So stop caring. Act normal. It doesnt matter one way or __another what__ he meant or him not getting me anything – I didnt get him anything.__It doesnt matter.__ Stop caring. _

Tired and with a slight headache, she put down the kitten who had fallen asleep and made her way down to Snapes office.

* * *

She forced herself to walk with a steady pace down the stairs, corridors and halls until she found herself mere feet from his door. Her stomach, which remained in her throat, had been joined by all her other internal organs. She slowed down, glancing at herself, surprised to see her hands shaking.

_Stop it. __It isnt any different now than before.__But yes, it – no.__ Act normal. _

_How is this normal again?_

She closed her eyes. There it was – the music. It was quiet, but it was there. The sound of the cello being overcome with the rise of the violin. She didn't recognize it, but liked it.

_Okay. _She took a breath. _I can do this. It actually is normal. _

Jane turned the doorknob and pushed open the door, letting herself in.

The fire illuminated the entire room in a soft orange hew. Snape, who was sitting at his desk, looked up to her. Even Snape with his normal pallor was bathed in the warm tone.

"Hi." He said

"Hi." She repeated, her voice soft, as she closed the door behind her.

"Did you have a happy Christmas?" He asked, completely without passive aggression.

"I got a kitten." She blurted out before she could stop herself.

He looked at her, smiled.

"Did you now?" He asked as he stood up.

"Yes. I named him DiddleVon." She told him.

"That's a stupid name."

"Yes. It is."

He had made his way towards her who stood with her back pressed against the door.

"And yourself?" She asked, watching him as he drew his body in closer to hers.

"Alright." He said, standing directly in front of her with his face aimed at hers.

They stood there for a moment, just staring at each other, smiling.

_This isn't weird._ She thought it and grinned as the truth of it sunk in. She leaned forward and pressed her lips to his.

* * *

"You got a kitten?"

Jane turned to see Fred and George approaching her. She was sitting in the great-hall, grabbing a quick lunch before heading up to her dorm to do some homework. They sat down near her.

"Yup. I named him DiddleVon." She said, grinning.

Fred matched her grin earnestly. George tried to do the same but his disappointment penetrated the smile.

"That's really cool." Said Fred as he grabbed some food and began to eat.

"I happen to agree." She said, trying to ignore George's sullenness. "What did you boys get?"

"Well, we got matching sweaters from Mom, candy and some jokes." Fred replied with food in his mouth.

"That sounds like fun."

"You have no idea." Replied Fred, winking at her.

Next to him George rolled his eyes and began to grab food as well.

"Thanks for the treats by the way." She said to him. "What exactly do they do?"

George looked at her, finally an authentic smile crossing his face.

"I don't know what you mean. They are perfectly fine treats. Delicious, in fact." He said, his eyes glimmering with the lie.

She rolled her eyes at him.

"You know, you're really bad at lying."

He grinned wider, chuckling.

"I don't know what you're talking about." Said George

"Indeed. Surely you must have the wrong impression about us." Added Fred.

George looked at his brother with the comment, seemingly surprised by the statement.

"Well you'll have to forgive me if I don't eat them myself, but I am just not that stupid." She told them, smiling.

"No one said that you were." George stated quickly.

"You just aren't quite as genius as the both of us." Said Fred.

Jane laughed. George grimaced.

"Fair enough. Actually, I wanted to talk to you about that." She said, shifting her tone. "Would you two be willing to help me out with Potions? You seem to have a decent handle on it."

She made a point of emphasizing the "two".

"Certainly." Agreed Fred.

"Of course." Answered George.

"Great. How's this Wednesday afternoon for you boys?" She asked, intentionally including the plural.

They both nodded, agreeing.

"It's a date." Said George, grinning at Jane.

"Indeed." Added Fred. George's grin fell slightly, almost undetectable.


	25. Chapter 25

Several weeks had passed. The snow that had covered the ground had turned to water and flowed into the lake. DiddleVon had gotten less small. Jane continued going to classes, spending her free time with Neville, Hermione, Ginny, the twins, and occasionally Ron. On Wednesday afternoons the twins helped her with her potions. On Tuesdays, Thursdays and Fridays Hermione helped her with everything else. On Friday evenings she spent her time with Snape.

She had become accustomed to her life at Hogwarts, however abnormal it might be.

She sat in the common-room with DiddleVon curled in her lap, book in her hand. She had been trying to read it for several days now, but her focus had been dwindling. In fact, her focus all around had been dwindling for the past week or so. She had felt nauseous all week. Trying to calm herself, she had gone for a run the previous night. She had pushed herself through the pain and made it to her tree to find herself incapable of formulating the thoughts swarming around in her head. She had stayed until sunset before running back up to her dorm, spending hours in solitude and fresh air, but to no avail. She still sat in her chair, with her cat curled up in her lap, unable to focus.

"Hey Jane." Called Hermione from behind Jane.

Jane turned to see the frizzy-haired girl make her way towards her, followed by Harry.

"Hey. What's up?" She asked.

"Actually, we're really busy. I know that I said that I would be able to help you with your History tonight, but I can't." She said, sounding sincerely sorry.

Jane looked between her friend and Harry, noticing the anxiety that permeated from both them.

"Okay. Not a problem. Is everything okay?"

"It will be, we just need a little more time in the library." She answered before turning and walking out the door, followed by Harry.

"If it were anybody other than Hermione saying that, I would say that Harry has found himself a girlfriend."

Jane turned to see Neville approach her, taking the seat opposite from her. At the sound of his voice DiddleVon woke up and purred at him. Neville leaned forward to pet him. Satisfied, DiddleVon fell back asleep.

"Not that he doesn't have enough to worry about." Neville finished his thought aloud.

_The tri-wizard tournament. Of course. That's why Hermione couldn't help me. _

"I'm sure that he would appreciate the critical sentiment." She replied to her friend, grinning.

"It can't be good that he's still doing research. It means that he hasn't figured out the challenge yet." Added Neville, looking after Harry and Hermione.

Jane's stomach did a flip-flop. Neville caught a glance at her, noticing her discomfort.

"Are you okay?" He asked.

"Yes, of course. Just a little, umm, un-centered." She said, trying to explain the feeling to herself as well as him.

He looked at her, his eyes squinting.

"Are you sure?" He asked, his voice sceptical.

Jane suddenly remembered the burn on her arm, how scared and confused Neville had been. How scared and confused she had been.

"Yes." She lied.

* * *

Jane let herself into Snape's office early that evening. He wasn't there yet. Unable to focus and filled with an ominous anxiety, she had put down both the book and the cat and made her way down to his office, hoping to find him there. She had known as soon as she reached his door that he wouldn't be there – the knob had been locked.

She had manoeuvred her way through the locked door with the same ease as before, closing the door behind her. Looking around, the office seemed cold and empty with Snape actually in it. She pointed her wand towards the fireplace, flames appearing in the hearth. She wandered over to the shelves and selected an album, placing it on the gramophone and turning it on. Returning her gaze to the room that was now filled with warmth, light and music, it still felt empty.

She walked around Snape's desk, sat in his chair, opened the bottom drawer and pulled out the bottle and two glasses. She poured herself a drink and took a sip, rubbing her arms to try and keep warm while she waited.

At long last the door opened and Snape entered. As he walked through the door, he looked into the office, surprised by its being occupied. Turning to see Jane sitting in his seat behind his desk, he smiled.

"You're early."

"Yes. I am." She replied.

He closed the door behind him, locking it, and made his way over to stand behind her. As he drew nearer to her, his eyes narrowed.

"Why?" He asked, suddenly hesitancy appearing in his tone.

She looked up at him and wondered if she could lie to him.

"I was a little restless." She said, not lying, but not telling the truth.

"Oh," He said as he came to a halt behind the chair, "Come here then."

She leaned back as he placed his hands on her shoulders and began to rub them. She released a small groan as she began to relax.

"This is lovely." She said as his hands worked their way up her neck and down onto her back. "Thank you."

After several minutes of this, he spun the chair around so that she was facing him. He crouched down.

"Better?" He asked.

"Much." She said, languorously.

"Good." He said, leaning forward to kiss her.

His hand found its way to her cheek as his lips found hers, his tongue gently pushing its way into her mouth. She let him kiss her, but did not pull him into her. After a moment, Snape withdrew from her. He looked at her face, searching for something.

"What's wrong?" He asked, concerned.

Looking at his face, his earnest eyes that were surprisingly soft, she knew she could not lie.

"I don't know."


	26. Chapter 26

At long last, Jane forced herself out of bed early the following morning. She had left Snape's office earlier than usual feeling even worse than she had when she had gone there seeking relief. She had made her way to her dorm and had lain down, but could not sleep. Her anxiety took control of her body. The few times that she had managed to drift off, she would awaken less than an hour later with her body cramping. When this would happen, she would be unable to find a comfortable position again.

When the light began to stream through the window, she was again both glad that she would no longer have to force herself to try and sleep and frustrated that she had failed.

Stretching, she pulled her legs over the side of her bed and glanced around her dorm. All of her dorm-mates were still asleep, but Hermione's bed was empty.

_She probably fell asleep in the library helping Harry. _

_Harry. _

_I hope everythings okay. _

She pulled on some clothes and made her way down to the great-hall to grab an early breakfast. She ate practically alone and soon after returned to the common-room. As she entered, she saw Neville, Fred and George sitting around.

"Good morning sunshine." Greeted Fred.

"Morning boys." She replied to all of them.

"Morning Jane." Said Neville.

"You're up early." Commented George, looking mildly apprehensive.

"Yeah. And you look like hell." Added Fred.

"Thanks. I appreciate it." She said to Fred. Turning to face George she continued. "I couldn't really sleep. I don't know why I've been so anxious lately. I'm sure it'll pass."

She sat down with them.

"Hermione didn't sleep in her bed last night." She stated, offering a possible reason for anxiety.

"Neither did Ron." Added Neville, a concerned look on his face.

"Well it's about time those two crazy kids got together, don't you think?" Joked George, trying to lighten the mood.

"Indeed. Long past due. Though I don't know what she sees in him." Added Fred.

Jane rolled her eyes.

"They're probably helping Harry with his challenge." Suggested Neville, mildly uncomfortable with the conversation's implication.

Jane's stomach clenched and she thought for a moment that she might hurl, but then the moment passed.

"Oh come on Neville. You have no sense of humour!" Exclaimed Fred, looking mildly disappointed.

"Are you okay?" Asked George, focusing on Jane.

_Crap. He saw that. _

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just a little out of it." She said, smiling while she dismissed him.

"Yeah George. She's fine. Leave the girl alone will ya?" Taunted Fred. George looked at his brother, annoyed and slightly hurt.

_I don't want to deal with this right now. _

"So when is the challenge today anyways?" She asked them

"We have three hours," Began Neville, looking at his watch. "before we're ridiculously early."

The twins laughed. Neville smiled at his success at humour.

* * *

The three of them spent the morning together until it was time to head off for the challenge. Neither Hermione nor Ron had appeared yet, and even the nonchalance of Fred and George began to be threatened by their absences. When it was finally time for the challenge, the four of them joined the rest of the Gryffindor students and made their way down to the lake. They were among the first to arrive, but all of the competitors were already there – except for Harry.

Jane's stomach tightened.

The group found seats and waited for the challenge to begin. Jane sat between Neville and George. She was mildly uncomfortable with the physical closeness of George. She had wanted to let him down easy, maintaining their friendship while letting him know that she wasn't interested in him. She had been trying. But he was persistent.

The judges arrived and took their places. Harry was still absent. _Something's wrong. _Jane's stomach began to shudder.

"Are you okay?" Asked George when she placed her hands around her mid-section.

"Yes. I'm just feeling a little sick is all." She told him, smiling briefly before turning to face the lake before them.

Finally, Harry arrived and took his place with the other champions. Jane's stomach trembled violently, forcing her to close her eyes to keep from falling over in pain.

_Breath. Just breath. It'll be fine. __It'll go away. _

A whistle blew and the champions plunged into the water, Harry last. With the champions submerged, the crowd was left waiting. As they disappeared from sight, pain surged through Jane. She closed her eyes and clenched her teeth, fighting back a scream, urging it away.

"Well, this could get boring fast." Commented Fred.

"It depends on how boring you are." Sniped Neville without looking at him.

"I do believe you've grown yourself some guts Neville." Said Fred.

"About time." Said George, sounding impressed.

"So who do you think will win?" Asked Neville after several minutes of silence.

"Hands down Harry." Said George, without hesitation.

"Really? I'm thinking Cedric has the best odds here. I've had a few classes with him and he's smart enough to pull something like this off." Replied Fred

"What about you Jane?" Asked George, leaning into her, "Who do you think will win?"

Startled at the sound of her name she looked up, her face somewhat blank. The shift in position sent pain rushing through her body. _Hide it. _

"Hrm? Oh. Well, let's go with Fleur. She's got the best hair of the bunch." She said, a little too late, trying to sound okay, to not let her discomfort become apparent. He didn't laugh, didn't even smile at her.

George looked at her through narrowed eyes. _He doesn't believe me. _After a moment of staring at her, he returned his gaze to the lake, seemingly not willing to press her.

After what seemed like hours the champions began to emerge from the water. First came Fleur, but without her companion. Then came Krum and Cedric close together, both of them carrying other people. Several more minutes passed.

_Something went wrong. _

The pain in Jane's stomach exploded through to extend to her entire body. Bolts of it shot through her legs to her feet, through her shoulders to her arms and hands, and up her neck to swallow her head whole. Unable to hide it anymore, she clenched her eyes shut, gripping her sides harder, and leaned forward so that she was almost in a foetal position.

"You're not okay."

She forced her eyes open. George stared at her, worry penetrating through his expression.

"Jane, let's go." Said Neville, somewhat forcefully as he took her arm.

Another wave of pain overcame her. Closing her eyes, she nodded and let him guide her up.

"I'll help." Offered George, grabbing her other side.

The three of them began to make their way down and away from the crowd. Jane looked at George, who she was supposed to be ignoring but needed to lean on at the moment. She closed her eyes. Another wave of pain overcame her. She turned to face Neville, who was looking just as worried, but slightly angry at the same time.

"I'm sorry." She said before she could stop herself.

"Don't be, it's not like you did anything." Replied George. Neville just stared at her.

The pain rushed through her body, forcing her limbs rigid. Her lungs began to burn, and she realized that she could not breathe. She stopped and fell to her knees. George and Neville crouched down on either side of her. She looked up at them, unable to hide the fear in her eyes. She put her hands to her throat and began lurching forward, mouth wide open to receive oxygen, but for some reason unable to take any in. Her lungs ablaze, she tried to cough, but couldn't. Panicking, she looked at George, who stared at her shocked and powerless.

She leaned forward onto the ground, pressing her forehead to the soil.

Finally, as the cheers emerged behind them, she inhaled. As she coughed, water came out of her mouth. Relieved, she fell forward then rolled over so that she was facing the sky. Most of the pain had passed, but her lungs still ached.

"What the hell was that Jane?" Asked Neville, worried, but stern, with a sceptical tone.

"I don't know." She replied honestly, too tired too lie.


	27. Chapter 27

"You need to go see the nurse." Commanded Neville as the three of them made their way up to the school.

"What is she going to do? I'm fine now." Replied Jane, trying to calm down her friend.

"No. You're not fine. You just about drowned back there. You coughed up water. I saw it. You can't lie to me Jane!" He persisted.

"Neville, I am fine now. I don't need to go to the school nurse. It was nothing."

"Just like it was nothing last time?" He asked

"What? There was a last time?" Asked George

Jane looked to him, entirely unhappy that he was here.

"Yeah. The last tournament Jane freaked out too. Only her arm got all burnt up then. And I mean all burnt up, her shirt was on fire and everything." Revealed Neville, speaking fast, no longer trying to hide his anger. "And the really interesting thing is that it was in the exact same place that hundreds of people saw Harry get burnt. Kind of like how today she started drowning just as the Gillyweed started to wear off of Harry."

George absorbed the information before returning his gaze to Jane, confusion apparent on his face.

"Are you helping Harry to cheat?" He asked, sounding slightly horrified

"No! Of course not. I barely know Harry. And if I were to be helping him cheat I wouldn't be stupid enough to go to the challenges now, would I?" She responded, not hiding her anger either.

Behind them, the crowd from the challenge began making their way towards them.

"Look, Neville, I am not going to go to the nurse now because there is nothing that she could do for me. But I will go to the nurse if anything like this ever happens again. I promise. Okay?" She said, her voice softening.

He looked at her, his stern expression evaporating.

"Okay." He agreed hesitantly.

The three of them sat almost hiding in an abandoned hallway. After the previous incident, they had been forced to flee when the crowds began to descend and scatter on school grounds.

Jane looked at her friends, both of whom wore expressions of deep concern.

"Thanks you guys." She said, averting her eyes from them, surprised at her shame.

Neville ducked his head to catch her eyes, placing a hand on her arm. Looking at her, his concerned expression warmed slightly. He leaned forward, placing his arms around her and embracing her.

"You scared us." He said as he hugged her.

"I'm sorry." She said, honestly.

"Don't be Jane. We know you didn't mean for it to happen. But we need to find out why it did." Responded George, who had placed a hand on her back to, not quite hugging her and Neville, but clearly indicating his support.

She released herself from Neville's hug and took a step back.

_I don't want to find out how. I think I already know. _

"Umm, guys, this might have just been a coincidence. I don't want to start asking questions about it. I mean, I already don't fit in here, and if they find out how much of a freak I really am, well then, they might not let me come back." She said, eyes earnestly shifting between George and Neville. "This is the first chance that I've ever really had to be normal. I don't want to blow it with something as stupid as this."

"But it's not your fault – they won't kick you out over this." George said emphatically

"You don't know that. I'm on a short leash here already." She said, averting her eyes from his gaze.

"Jane, they wouldn't do anything like that. You need to figure this out." Said Neville, calmly but authoritatively.

"I'm sorry guys, but I just can't take the risk. Hogwarts means too much to me already." As she said it, she realized that it was true.

Neville and George looked between each other, finally sighing and nodding.

"Alright Jane. We won't tell." Agreed Neville after a moment had passed, placing a hand on her shoulder.

"You have our word." Concurred George, matching Neville's actions.

"But if anything like this ever happens again – " began Neville

"If anything like this ever happens again, I will figure it out." She said as she looked up into the eyes of her best friend. "I swear."


	28. Chapter 28

"You seem less tense this week." He said, greeting her as she entered his office.

"That's because I am." She replied, smiling.

Snape stood up from behind his desk and walked around it to lean on the other side. She began to walk forward to him.

"You had me a little worried last week." He said, his expression sincere.

Her smile evaporated. _Crap. I don't want to explain it to him. This is getting awkward. _

"Well I'm all better now." She said, as she reached him. She placed her hands on the outsides of his thighs and leaned her body into his.

"Are you sure?" He asked, not buying her answer.

"Positive." She said, leaning in to kiss him.

_Please don't. Don't ask me any questions. Just let it be normal here. _

He withdrew from her, examining her expression. _He doesn't buy it. _His hands framed her face, brushing aside a strand of silver-blond hair. They stood like that for a moment, her watching him as he stared at her. Finally he sighed, pulled her into him, and kissed her.

* * *

"You're getting back late."

Jane turned. She had just arrived back from Snape's office and had begun to make her way up to her dorm. It was past midnight. Sitting in the chairs in front of the fireplace was George.

"Waiting up for me?" She asked, trying to avoid his implied question, teasingly.

"Yes." He replied, humour free from his tone.

"Oh." She said. _Crap. _

She made her way over to him, sat in the chair opposite to him, leaned back. Self-consciously, she brushed her hair behind her ears, hoping that it wasn't a mess. She pulled the hem of her shirt down, hoping the same.

"What's up?" She asked, trying to sound light-hearted

George looked at her, his expressions amplified in the light and shadow play the fire cast onto his face.

_Crap. I need to get out of this. _

"I wanted to see how you were." He said after a moment.

"I'm okay. Thanks for asking. How about you?" She replied quickly.

He sighed, gently tossing his head back briefly before leaning his whole upper-body close to her chair. She remained as far back as the back of the chair would let me.

_Please no. Not now. I can't deal with this. I need him to keep being my friend._

"I don't believe you." He said after what seemed like hours.

She released the air that she hadn't realized she had been holding onto. She looked at him, trying to read his expression. He was worried, and a little anxious. _Crap. Be nice. _

"I'm fine George. Honestly." She lied. _I would be if you would stop being so damned intense!_

Sighing, he leaned back, resting against the chair.

"Are you sure?" He asked, sounding almost convinced.

"Positive." She said, reassuringly.

"Okay then. I wanted to ask –" He began

"But I am a little tired." She interrupted him. _Crap. No. No asking me anything. Please don't make me answer any questions. I need to not be here. _

He stopped in his sentence, looked up at her, slightly hurt.

"Sorry," She began. "But I really am. It's been a long week. Do you mind if we have this conversation another time? I'd kind of like to go up to bed."

He stared at her, looking deflated

"I'm really sorry. But honestly, my head stopped working like three hours ago. I'm amazed that I still have my motor skills." She said, trying to lighten his disappointment.

Finally, he nodded.

_Thank God. _

"Okay. Another time then." He said, his voice flat.

"Okay. Goodnight George." She said quickly, jumping out of her chair and trying not to run up the stairs to her dorm, leaving him alone in front of the fireplace in the darkened room.

* * *

The next morning Jane woke up early, unrested. She threw on her running clothes and shoes and made her way down through the castle, hoping to not bump into anyone. She rushed through the common-room, averting her eyes so as to not catch sight of anyone. When she made her way past the great-hall, she intentionally looked in the other direction, again hoping to avoid seeing anyone. As she passed through the large doors that lead outside, a sigh of relief escaped her.

The morning was beautiful. The sunlight had just begun to hit the grounds, the dew still dampened the grass, causing it to glisten in the sun's rays. The lake shined, almost reflective, the ship on its surface only distinguishable as a dull blob in the mass of silver. In the shade, Jane shivered slightly, but as she made her way into the light, the sun warmed her, as did the physical action of running.

She ran somewhat slower than normal, letting herself take in the beauty of the crisp morning. It took her several minutes longer to reach the shore, but by the time she did, her legs had begun to tighten, her stomach cramp, and her lungs burn.

_That's okay. Run through it.__ I'm__ in control of it this time. _

Instead of slowing and allowing herself to take a break, she picked up her pace. After all, this is what she had come here for. He legs began to pound the ground more furiously, her breathing became more laboured. Her lungs were on fire.

_Run through it. I can do this. I am doing this. _

She pushed her way down the side of the shore, turned a corner, and caught sight of her tree. Smiling, she accelerated to make it there faster.

_See? Almost there. I can do this. _

She finally began to slow down as she approached her tree, coming to a halt as she let herself hit the tree. She turned so that her back faced the trunk of the tree and sat down in her nook, positioning her to look out over the school and the grounds.

_It's beautiful. _

_What the hell am I doing here? _

She sighed, closing her eyes and resting her head against the trunk of the tree.

_ I don't belong here. I shouldn't be here. Who am I kidding? And now I am making Neville and George lie to cover up the fact that I don't belong here. _

_George. _

_Crap. What am I going to do about him? Ignoring him clearly hasn't discouraged him. And now that I have taken him into my confidence with that stupid incident, I can't ignore him. _

_And what was that about? Why couldn't I breathe? Maybe Neville and George are right. Maybe I should tell someone, try to figure it out. _

_But then they'll know that I don't belong here. They will make me leave. _

_But Neville and George seem to think that they wouldn't do that. _

_But Neville and George don't know everything else. _

_I don't belong here. But I don't want to leave. _

_This is my best chance at having a normal life. My only chance. Don't screw it up. _

An image of Snape crossed her mind.

_Don't let anyone know how much I am screwing it up. _

She smiled, and opened her eyes.

"So is this where you always run off to?"

Startled, Jane jumped up. She looked over to see George approaching her. His face was slightly red, assumedly from the run.

_Crap. _

"What are you doing here?" She asked before she could stop herself

"Well good morning to you too." He replied, sounding hurt as he made his way over to her.

"Sorry. Hi. Good morning." She said apologetically

"Hi." He said, walking over to her, sitting next to her.

She held her breath. He settled down, his body resting slightly against hers.

"So? Is this where you always run off to?" He repeated

"Yes." She replied, intensely uncomfortable. _He doesn't belong here._

"You're up early." He said, his voice sounding weird.

She looked at him, trying to read his face. He sat staring out at the lake, not looking at her or even acknowledging she was looking at him.

"Yes. I am. I wanted to go for a run." She replied. _He needs to leave. _

"I thought you were tired." He said.

"I was. Still am. Probably because I couldn't sleep." She said, beginning to sound defensive. _Go away. _

"Me either." He said, sounding slightly mean.

"What are you doing here George?"

He chuckled a little, leaned his head back against the tree.

"It's beautiful here. I can see why you would come here." He said.

She stared at him, waiting for him to respond to her question.

"You're beautiful too, Jane." He said, finally looking at her. "And funny. And smart. And nice. What you did for Ron and Ginny was probably the kindest, most selfless thing anyone has ever done for them. And I have no idea how you always seem to know the difference between Fred and me. No one else can. It's nice for a change for someone to see me without him."

_No. Crap. I can't ignore it anymore. Crap!_

She held her breath, waiting for him to finish.

"I've had a crush on you for a while." He said, still looking at her.

She averted her eyes from him, still not letting herself breathe. The silence went on between them.

"Aren't you going to say anything?" He asked, sounding hurt.

She couldn't lift her head to look at him. Couldn't formulate words. Couldn't breathe.

"Then I guess that says everything." He said after several moments had passed.

George stood, brushed the dirt off of him, and walked away.


	29. Chapter 29

The week went by agonizingly slow. Every time that Jane would enter a room where George was, he would leave it. On Wednesday, he didn't show up to their regular meeting. When she made her way to the common-room, Fred sat alone at their regular table.

"Hi." She said to him, somewhat cautiously.

"Hi." He greeted.

She sat down opposite him.

"George, uh, he was busy." Excused Fred.

"No, he wasn't." Replied Jane, "But it's understandable."

The two of them worked through that week's Potions lesson. It was slightly more awkward than usual. Normally George was there to act as a sort of buffer between them. In his absence, Fred and Jane had little to say, especially with what they knew they couldn't say.

After a little under an hour, they decided to give up. What little progress they had made was insignificant. They couldn't work like this. Fred got up first, clearly trying not to rush away. As he turned, Jane couldnt help herself.

"Tell George that I'm sorry." She said, her voice quite.

Fred turned to her, smiled softly and awkwardly, and nodded.

* * *

"Good evening."

Jane looked at Snape as she entered his office. He was standing in front of the fire, not really looking at her.

"Good evening." She replied.

He turned to her, smiling.

"How are you?" He asked

She took a breath, trying to find an answer that was cheerful but not a blatant lie.

"I'm, uhh, I'm still here. How about you?"

"Me too." He said, walking over to her, his eyes narrowing. "What's wrong?"

She looked up at him, knew that she couldn't lie.

"George – he, uh, he told me he had feelings for me."

Snape took a step back, looking at her.

"And what did you say to him?"

"Nothing. I said nothing. I, uh, I didn't really handle it all that well."

Snape sighed and took a step towards her.

"And how did he take that?"

"Not too well. He hasn't spoken to me all week. It's kind of horrible."

He looked at her with squinting eyes

"I just wish that he hadn't said anything. It would have been easier that way to just ignore him."

"Do you?" Snape asked.

"Yes I do. I don't have feelings for him. But he's a good friend to me, and I'm not sure if we still will be after this." She explained.

He nodded, waiting for her to continue. She sighed, turning away from him.

"He followed me on my run. There's this place I like to go to, it helps me think. And he followed me there."

Snape watched her, waiting for her to continue.

"I was mad at him. That's why I couldn't talk to him. He shouldn't have been there. I mean, let's face it, I don't really belong at Hogwarts, I'm not a normal student. As much as I try to fit in, I know I'll never be able to."

As she said it, he smiled slightly.

"That's not necessarily a bad thing."

"I know. But when I'm here I'm supposed to act normal. Obviously, I haven't been entirely successful, but still, you know? When I go for my runs it's a chance for me to reconnect with the real me. And George invaded that. He had no right to be there. He took that release from me."

"Release?"

"Yes." As she said it she realized the truth of it. "I need something to separate me from all this pretention and running was it. And now I'm not sure if it will be. I need to find something else now."

"Isn't music something like that for you?" He asked

"It can be, but it hasn't been in a long time. Listening is only so good. I need to physically do something, actually with my body."

"You could play music. You know how to."

"Instruments cost money that I don't have."

He looked at her and sighed.

"Besides, I need to keep running. It's good for me. You have no idea how good it is for me." She said, shifting her tone.

He looked at her, smiling as he nodded.

"But that's enough of that. I didn't come here to talk." She said, suddenly grinning as she leaned in to kiss him.

* * *

The following morning, Jane forced herself to get out of bed and go for a run. She took her time going through the castle, dreading going outside. Unlike the previous week, her time in the castle had passed too quickly. Before she was ready for it, she had arrived at the door and was overlooking the castle grounds.

_Just run. Don't let what happened last week ruin running for me. Push through the awkwardness. _

She began to run, going faster than normal. Her feet pounding the ground as she propelled herself forward.

_Just keep running. It won't catch me. _

She made her way to the shore of the lake, turned, and began heading towards her tree. Her lungs began to burn, her stomach ache, her legs throb with muscle pain.

_Run through it. Push through the pain. _

She kept running. After several minutes she made her way to her tree. She stopped a few feet away from it.

_No. This is my spot. The only place that I belong here. _

Slowly, she made her way towards the trunk and sat down.

_I belong here. _She thought as she overlooked the lake and school grounds. _Even if I might not belong at the school, I belong here. _

_What was George doing out here? How dare he invade this place! It belongs to me. And how dare he be mad at me! I don't have feelings for him – so what? It's not like I can control it. If I could then I probably would be spending my "detentions" very differently. _

_But he's my friend. Well, he was. And now he's not. _

_Crap. _

_I need to fix it. _

_But can I?_


	30. Chapter 30

Several more weeks passed. Despite her intentions to fix things with George, she had been unable to do so. He continued to avoid her, if not leaving the room whenever she would enter it, then intentionally avoiding her. What little interaction they did have consisted of George tossing out snide comments towards her and Jane giving him long apologetic looks. He had left it to Fred to help her with Potions. Fred did not seem to know everything that had happened, but understood his brother enough to have an idea. When Fred would meet with Jane, they would work quickly. They got along, but it was more them being polite then them actually being friends. Without George being there, there was no one to fill the distance between Fred and Jane.

Neville had been careful not to mention George. He had not asked Jane what had happened between them. Had not pressed her. He understood Jane enough to know that asking her too many questions would only hurt their friendship. She was grateful for his understanding, and had told him as much as she could – that George had told her he had feelings for her, and that she had not said the same to him.

Neville had also refrained from pressing her about her drowning.

She had never appreciated him more.

She continued to go to Snape's office on Friday nights, where they talked, listened to music, and otherwise enjoyed the pleasure of each other's company.

No other incidents had occurred. Jane was glad of this fact. She did not want to have to break a promise to Neville.

The school year was almost over. Jane had managed to scramble her way through her classes, and with the help of Neville, Hermione, and Fred, she had become one of the top students. Despite her success, she maintained their help, afraid that she would lag behind. She had spent her free time running or with her friends. Neville was her closest friend, and they spent long hours talking, normally with DiddleVon playing between them. But she also had made strong connections with Hermione and Ginny. Neither of them fit with Jane as well as Neville, but it was nice to have some female friends, even if they were a little extreme in their personalities – Hermione being the "smart one", Ginny being the flirtatious "sporty one". The three of them had little in common with most other girls, and apparently bonded over their differences. Jane also spent a little time with Ron and Harry, but seemed to not fit in with them. The two of them were such strong friends, with Hermione included, it seemed that there was little room for anyone else. Despite this, Ron had made efforts to be kind to her, which Jane appreciated.

Exams were done. It was nearing the time to leave Hogwarts. The final challenge was days away.

Jane walked into the common-room. Neville and Ginny stood talking to someone that Jane couldn't see sitting in a chair. She walked over to them.

"Don't you think enough is enough?" Asked Ginny, her voice pleading.

"Come on, it's been long enough." Said Neville.

"No. I don't." Said George, his voice stern.

"Get over yourself George." Said Ginny, now sounding annoyed.

"Hi." Said Jane, feeling uncomfortable and wanting make her presence known.

Ginny and Neville looked up, startled. Their faces drained of colour as she approached.

"How is everybody?" Asked Jane, forcing herself to be polite.

_It has been long enough. It's time to fix this._

"Fine, thanks. And you?" Replied Ginny, matching Jane's politeness. Neville simply nodded.

Having reached them, Jane looked at George who was sitting sullen in his chair.

"How about you George? How are you?" She asked him

He looked up at her, narrowing his eyes.

"Just dandy." He replied scathingly. "But you are actually interrupting a conversation here."

"I'm actually getting nervous." Interjected Ginny, clearly wanting to change the subject.

"Oh, and why's that Ginny?" Asked Neville, not intending to sound mocking, but clearly trying to ignore George's rudeness.

"The final challenge is coming up. I hope Harry does alright. He actually has a shot at winning." She replied.

"I know. He's done really well. I can't wait to see what the final challenge is though. Want to sit together when it comes?" Offered Neville to Ginny

"Yeah, that would be great." She answered "How about you Jane? Are you in?"

"Wouldn't miss it." She replied, smiling at the invitation.

George began laughing.

"Of course not." He said between cackles.

Ginny exchanged a look between Neville before looking more closely at George.

"What do you mean?" She asked

He laughed louder.

"Just that Jane wouldn't miss an opportunity to freak out, now would she?" He said, loudly.

Jane could feel her face drain of colour. Looking up, she saw Neville's complexion pale too.

"What are you talking about George?" Asked Ginny, her curiosity and doubt magnified by the expressions on Jane and Neville's faces.

"Oh well, you know. Jane has this habit of completely freaking out whenever something bad happens to Harry. I don't know why, she barely knows him. But at the last challenge she had to leave when she started choking, and at the one before that apparently she got burnt pretty badly." His voice harsh, his eyes focusing on Jane.

"What? That – that doesn't make sense." Said Ginny, her voice wavering.

"Ask her yourself. But I'm done." Said George, standing and walking away from the group.

Ginny stared after him a moment before turning her gaze to Jane.

"Is that true?" She asked, her face serious.

_Crap. _

Jane looked at Neville, who was looking just as shocked as Jane felt, but still managed to give her a sympathetic look.

_How could he__ do that to me? _

She turned around and looked after George.

_No way. _ _I won't let him get away with that. _

She followed after him, leaving Neville to deal with Ginny. She stormed after George, chasing after him into the hallway. He had a head start and was rounding a corner as she caught sight of him. She followed him.

"What the hell was that?" She demanded, catching up to him.

He ignored her, picking up his pace.

"Don't run away from me. Stop." She said, grabbing his arm and turning him around to face her.

"Let go of me." He snarled.

"No. Not until you stop this!" She shouted at him.

"I don't know what you're talking about." He said, his mouth turning into a snarl.

"Stop being such a jerk to me!" She shouted at him. o

"You should have thought of that before you humiliated me!" He shouted back.

"I did not humiliate you! You followed me! You chased after me. You surprised me saying what you did. I didn't know how to respond without hurting you. Obviously I reacted badly, but I never tried to humiliate you. I never tried to hurt you!"

"You could have said something. You just sat there, staring at me, all dumbfounded. Like it was such a shock that I would actually care about you!"

"Well I'm sorry. Okay? I didn't mean to hurt you. I didn't want to hurt you. That's why I couldn't respond then. I couldn't find a nice enough way of telling you that I don't have those kinds of feelings for you."

"You didn't have to be nice to me! You just needed to be honest. But you didn't do that – you just sat there, stupefied!"

"Yes I did need to be nice. Because I do care about you as my friend. You're a great guy, and an amazing friend, but I don't have any more feelings for you. I'm sorry. And I'm sorry that I didn't react properly. I didn't mean to hurt you, and I wish that I hadn't."

He looked at her, chest heaving from the fight.

"Look, if you need to continue being a jerk to me then fine. But can you at least be civil to everyone else? They didn't do anything to you. At all. They don't deserve you treating them like you have been – like you just did. I promise to leave you alone if you promise to be nice to them, okay?"

He stared at her a moment, his expression finally softening.

"Okay." He said.

"Good then." She said, releasing his arm.

They took a step back from each other, turned and walked away from one another.


	31. Chapter 31

The next evening, Jane sat with Neville, DiddleVon curled up on his lap, purring softly as he pet her. She had told him about the ordeal with George.

"Well, at least you talked to him again." He said, sounding mockingly optimistic. "And you didn't kill each other."

She chuckled.

"Yeah. I guess it could have gone worse." She agreed.

The two of them sat in his dorm room, chatting. They had wanted a little privacy, and the common-room had been full. But it was beginning to get dark, soon people would be coming up to bed. For that matter, soon she would have to leave to go to her "detention" – the last one of the year. She was dreading going there at the same time as she was anxious to get there. She forced herself not to think about it, but rather to accept it.

_I have to leave. I have to leave Hogwarts. Neville, Hermione, Ginny, the twins, Ron, and Snape. I need to leave them all. I won't be able to see them again for another few months. _

"Look, you did what you had to do. You tried to make peace with him. There's nothing more you can do." He said to her, trying to comfort her.

"Yeah, I guess." She replied, unrested. "Look, I had better get going to detention."

"Last one though – you survived!" He said, excited for her.

"Yeah. I did." She said, not quite managing to make her voice sound enthusiastic.

* * *

"Hi." He said as she entered into his office. The music playing softly in the background brought a smile to her face.

"Hi." She said, smiling at him.

She closed the door and made her way over to his desk, taking the seat opposite his.

"How are you?" He asked.

_Nervous._

"Fine thanks. You?"

"Same." He said. She got the distinct feeling that he was saying more than the word implied.

He looked at her, his smile, fading slightly. He stood, walked around the desk, sat on in directly in front of her. Her stomach flip-flopped.

"You're early." He said

"I wanted to be able to take my time." She replied, unable to stop the truth from spilling from her lips.

_I'm going to miss you. _

"Me too."

He leaned forward to kiss her, placing his hands on her cheeks. She bent into the kiss but didn't get out of her seat. Noting her subtle hesitancy, he withdrew from her, keeping his hands on her face. He brushed her hair behind her ear, cupping her cheek.

_I don't know how I'm going to be able to walk away from you._

"Me too." He repeated. He smiled warmly, but with some distance in his eyes.

_He knows this is the last time. _The thought hurt her more than she was willing to admit. Her stomach lurched slightly. _He can't find out. _

"Me too." She repeated, standing up. She leaned into him, pressing her body against his, kissing him.

_Don't let h__im know how much this hurts. Be __normal. _

The following morning, Jane let herself out of bed early. Once again, she had been unable to sleep. She hadn't gotten to her dorm until well past midnight, and when she did, she wasn't tired. Her encounter with Snape had shaken her more than she wanted to admit. It didn't occur to her until the previous evening just how much she would miss their evenings.

_But now it__'s __over, and __I can't__ do anything about it. _

Finally giving up on trying to sleep she got out of bed and dressed in her running clothes.

_And George still hasnt gotten any better. _

_All I managed to do this year is screw up. _

Her stomach lurched.

_Enough of this. _

After dressing, she made her way through the castle to the grounds. She mechanically followed her path, reaching the shore after what seemed like an instant, and began making her way towards her tree. The normal pleasant and welcome burn went unnoticed. Reaching her tree she let herself rest against the trunk of it.

_I dont belong here. I never have. _

_Ive screwed everything up. Snape and me are over. George still hates me. Neville still likes me, but he doesnt know. _

_I dont fit in here. I dont belong. _

_ I need to fix things. But Ive tried. George wont forgive me. A__nd how can I fix it with Snape? __Start telling him off in public__ again?_

_No. Maybe leaving isnt as bad as it seems. _

_I dont belong here. And I never will. _

Pain throbbed through her body, extending from her stomach through to her limbs.

_Then __why do I want to stay so badly?_


	32. Chapter 32

Later that day, Jane met with Neville in the common-room.

"Are you ready?" He asked

"Yup." She said enthusiastically, trying to hid the fact that once again she felt ill.

"Okay then, we just have to wait for Ginny."

The two of them stood making small talk as they waited for her. They were meeting to go to watch the final challenge.

"Hey." Called Ginny, walking towards them.

Jane turned to see her approaching them, Fred and George following her.

"How is everybody?" She asked

"Great. Yourself?" Neville responded before Jane could.

"Same."

"Are we ready to head off?" She asked, glancing at Neville and Jane.

Jane looked at Ginny, and behind them, the twins. Fred smiled at her warmly, but George looked tense.

"Actually, I think that I'm going to sit this one out." Said Jane, looking from George to Ginny and Neville.

They paused, looking at her.

"You don't have to do that you know." Neville said to her.

"No no, I don't mind. I need to do some packing anyways." She said, as she begun to walk away. "But you guys go ahead. Have fun!"

Jane turned away from the group and made her way up to her dorm.

* * *

She was the only one in her dorm. She had finished packing most of her belonging and now sat on her bed with DiddleVon curled on her lap. Absent-mindedly she pet him.

_I should go and watch the challenge. _

_No I shouldn't. Let George have it. _

Restless, she got up. Holding DiddleVon she made her way over to the window. It overlooked the arena where the challenge was currently happening. There was no cheering or booing.

_It must not be that interesting. Yet. _

Her stomach pitched slightly.

_No. Don't do this. Stop. _

Thankfully, her body listened to her. The pain subsided completely, but she was left with an anxiety that she couldn't place.

She turned back to her bed, put DiddleVon down, and walked out the door down to the common-room. Over an hour had passed since she had said goodbye to her friends, and she knew that the common-room would be abandoned. She was wrong.

"There you are." She was greeted as she made her way into the room.

She looked up to see George sitting awkwardly in the chair.

"I was beginning to think that you would never come down."

"What are you still doing here?" She asked him.

"You should be there with us. I appreciate the thought though." He said, trying to sound nonchalant.

"Nah. You go ahead. They're your friends. Err, family, actually."

"They're your friends too."

She looked at him. He was watching her with an odd expression on his face. Guilt.

"Are you –" She began, but was interrupted when pain surged through her body, making her fall to her knees.

_Something is wrong. _

"Are you okay?" He asked, jumping from his seat to come to her side. He bent down next to her, angling his head to see her face.

"I'm fine." She said, looking at him.

"Fine then!" He shouted at her, standing up, suddenly furious with her. "You just keeled over. You're obviously not fine!"

"It's not me. It's Harry." She said, sounding distant. As the words fell from her mouth she knew they were true.

George looked at her, unsure of what she meant.

Pain flooded her once again. She closed her eyes to try and fight it off. There was a slight ripping sound. Her arm seared. She opened her eyes again, looked down at it. It was bleeding.

"What the hell?!" Shouted George, once again by her side. "What's going on?"

Her stomach kicked her. _Harry's in trouble. _

"He's in trouble." She said to him, forcing herself to stand up.

"We need to tell Dumbledore!" She shouted at him as she began to run down the stairs, making her way to the challenge.

_It's not okay. Something is wrong. _

Pain surged through her once again, stopping her in her tracks and making her rock forward. Unable to stop herself she fell down several stairs. George rushed to her side.

"What's wrong?" He asked, all pretences gone from his expression and tone, clearly distressed.

"We need to tell Dumbledore. Something's wrong!"

She stood and again started running through the castle. She made her way through hallways and corridors, but stopped in front of the great-hall. Another wave of pain overcame her, forcing her to stop. Behind her she could hear George's footsteps coming up.

_Help him. _

Another wave of pain, different from before, took over her body. She looked at her hands, which were surrounded in green light. The pain seared through her body. She cried out, unable to keep quite any longer. As she did so, her body was flung against the wall. Her skull hit the stone wall with a cracking sound. She fell to the ground.

_Run through the pain. Help him. _

"Shit! Jane!" Cried George, now next to her.

She stood once again, and pressed on, running out the doors and making her way to the grounds. The pain throbbed through her body still, but she pressed on. After what seemed like hours but could have only been moments, she neared the crowds.

"Dumbledore!" She screamed, not slowing until she reached the edges of the maze.

She looked around, some students had seen her and were watching her intently. She finally stopped when her body hit something solid.

"Jane! What's wrong?"

She looked up to see Snape.

"Something's wrong. With Harry. I don't know what, but – "

"Jane? What happened?" Came Dumbledore's voice from behind her.

Jane turned to see him.

"Something's wrong with Harry." She told him, the anxiety in her gut still pressing.

Behind them from within the maze bursts of light emerged. The crowd cheered.

"Don't let them go there! Something's wrong!" She cried at Dumbledore.

The maze disappeared behind them, and the crown began to rush forward. George finally caught up to her, panting, he looked at her, petrified.

_Help him! Don't let them see him like this!_

Before she could realize what she was doing she was running towards what would have been the center of the maze. Ahead of her, she could make out the rough shape of Harry. Finally relief came over her, but she didn't stop running. Reaching him, she threw her arms around him, trying to comfort the distraught boy.

He clung to her, not knowing or caring who it was that was holding him. His arms squeezed her body, hers his. He pressed his dampened cheek to hers.

_He's my brother. _


	33. Chapter 33

The knowledge froze her.

She had wanted to comfort him, but with his touch had lost all ability to communicate. The crowd had made its way towards them all, and seeing the sobbing boy realized that something was wrong.

"It's okay Harry, you can let go now." Said the strong and comforting voice of Dumbledore.

Slowly, the boy let go of Jane and followed him away. Jane stood there, completely numb.

"Are you okay?" Asked a voice from behind her as an alien hand touched her arm.

She turned to see George. Behind him were Neville, Fred, and Ginny.

"I, uhh –" She began, but was still too dumbfounded to formulate words.

"What happened?" Asked Fred

George exchange a look with Neville, who understood perfectly. He came forward and took the other side of Jane.

"It happened again, didn't it?" He asked her.

Not looking at him, she nodded.

"What was different about this time?" He asked quietly, leaning in towards her.

She looked at him.

_How can I tell him? Can I tell him? _

Her stomach rocked again. Before she could stop it, she leaned forward, grasping her sides.

"Here. Sit down Jane." Someone said.

She let them guide her to a seat, where she let herself rest a moment.

_Something's wrong._

She looked up at the crowd. The people wandered around chaotically, all trying to make sense of their surroundings.

Pain continued to sear through her body. She clenched her eyes shut, trying to make it go away.

"Are you okay?" Asked Neville.

She opened her eyes, looked at him.

"No." She said, sounding surprised at the calmness of her voice. "Something's not right."

She stood and began to walk around, trying to find Harry. She searched the crowd, but couldn't find him. George and Neville followed her.

_Something's wrong. _She closed her eyes. _Where is he? _

Slowly, her surroundings evaporated around her. The sounds dulled, the scents gone. _He's in the hallway. Moody's got him by the arm, dragging him somewhere. To his office. _

_Something is wrong. _

_Help him. _

She opened her eyes, scanned the crowd again. She found Dumbledore, standing next to Snape and McGonagall. She ran over to them.

"Harry's in trouble." She said.

"He's find now Jane. He's back at Hogwarts." Responded Dumbledore before turning away from her once again.

"No. He isn't." She insisted.

Dumbledore turned to face her, Snape peered at her trying to understand, McGonagall looked at her, curious.

"How do you know, Jane?" McGonagall asked.

"I just do." She replied, speaking fast. "You have to believe me."

They looked at her, sceptically.

"Here!" She said, extending her arm. "This is how I know. Something's wrong. With Harry."

The three of them looked at the slash on her arm, the same one that had been on Harry's.

A wave of pain overcame her. She closed her eyes and lurched forward slightly.

_Make them believe me! They need to help Harry! He's in danger. _

"Moody's not Moody." She said, realizing the truth of it as she said it. "And he has Harry in his office."

She opened her eyes and looked up at them. They quickly exchanged glances before turning and running towards the castle.

Neville came up behind her, placing a hand on her arm.

"What's going on?" He asked, concern spreading across his face.

Pain surged through her body once more, lurching her forward.

_Harry's in trouble. _

"Jane?!" Called Neville, crouching down next to her. "Are you alright?"

_Moody pointing his wand at Harry. At her. __Bright green light emitting from it, reaching Harry. Reaching her. _

Her body erupted in violent pain. It shot through her body, forcing her to the ground. She screamed, rolling over onto the ground, pressing her head to the ground as tears forced their way out of her eyes.

"JANE!" Cried Neville, still next to her.

Agony swept over her, stronger than anything that she had ever experienced before. She screamed again, hoping that someone would make it stop. Her muscles convulsing uncontrollably.

_The door thrown open. Dumbledore, Snape, and __McGonagall__ entering, wands pointing at Moody, propelling him back against the wall. _

The pain evaporated. Jane rolled over so that she was resting on her back, staring up at the sky.

"Are you okay?" Asked Neville, above her.

She looked at him, the tears blurring her vision of him.

"Are you okay?!" He demanded of her, frantically.

"Yes." She forced the air between her lips, taking more effort than she would have liked to admit.

She sat up, grasping onto Neville for support. He clung to her desperately.

"Don't you ever do that again! Ever!" He whispered into her ear, sobbing quietly.

She let him brush the back of her hair, rocking her.

"Promise me that you will never do that again!" He demanded.

"I promise." She made herself find the strength to say it, needing to comfort her friend. "I promise."

* * *

A few hours later, Jane sat with Neville, George, Fred and Ginny in front of the fireplace. They were silent. No one could find the words to say the things they wanted to say.

Neville sat next to Jane on the arm of her chair. DiddleVon was curled on her lap, purring.

"Is Harry okay?" Asked Ginny, her voice sounding small

"Yes." Jane answered, surprised at the authority in her voice.

"What happened?" She asked, accepting Jane's knowledge.

"Voldemort's back." She said it without having to think.

She looked up at her friends. They sat, stunned.

"The cup was a portkey. It brought him and Cedric somewhere else. They killed Cedric. They used Harry in a spell to bring Voldemort back. It worked. He tried to kill Harry, but he got away."

The others looked at her, surprised, but accepting her word as truth.

"When he got back, Moody took him. Moody wasn't Moody. He tried to kill Harry. Again. But they stopped him. He's alright now. In the hospital wing."

"How do you know this?" Asked Neville beside her, concern spread across his face.

"He's my brother." She said, as if that explained her authority.

They looked at her, shocked silent. She looked around at them, trying to find the words to express her thoughts.

"He doesn't know. And I'd appreciate it if it stayed that way. I'll tell him myself, but not now. I probably won't have a chance until next year. But I need to tell him myself. He should hear it from me." She said, more to herself than her friends.

She looked up at them. They were staring at her, shocked, but believing.

"I didn't find out until tonight." She said, trying to explain herself.

"How did you find out?" Asked Neville, softly.

"I don't know." She replied, equally soft. "But I think it's time that I figured it out."


	34. Chapter 34

Jane sat in Dumbledore's office, waiting for him to arrive. The door had been locked, but she had broken in using the password that Harry knew. She paced in front of his fireplace, anxious. At long last, the door to his office opened and he walked in.

"Jane. What are you doing here?" He asked, not sounding entirely surprised.

"Harry's my brother." She said it as if it were a question.

"Yes. He is."

"You knew?"

"Yes. You two share a mother. She confided in me years ago of your existence, but not the specifics."

She absorbed the information, knowing it was true as she heard it.

"And Draco?" She asked, remembering the feeling she had the one time she had met him.

Dumbledore looked up at her, surprised at the question.

"Is he my brother too?" She asked him.

He looked at her momentarily before averting his eyes.

"It's possible." He said at long last.

She nodded and turned to face the fire.

"Is Harry alright?" She asked Dumbledore, already knowing the answer.

"He's shook up. Understandably. But he'll be alright."

She nodded again.

"Why did it happen?" She asked him

He sighed, walked towards his desk.

"I think that Voldemort thought that using Harry would make his stronger. He's an evil man." Began Dumbledore.

Jane turned to him, slightly confused.

"Not that. I know that. Harry knows it so I know it." She explained.

She walked over to him, and extended her arm to show him the fresh scar.

"I meant this. Why did this happen to me?"

He sighed, closed his eyes briefly, and leaned his head back against his chair.

"Your mother died to protect Harry. When she did so, she set a strong and binding protection spell on him, powered by her love. So long as anyone with her blood lives with him, Harry will be protected." He explained.

"Oh." She said, trying to absorb the information. "So this will happen whenever he gets hurt?"

"Yes." He said, looking at her apologetically.

She nodded, a grim expression on her face.

"Then I guess it's good that I can take a hit." She said, forcing a smirk onto her face.

"Indeed." He agreed.

* * *

The following morning Jane went for a run. Sitting against her tree, she overlooked the school.

_Everything is okay. Harry's okay. _

The pain in her stomach had subsided. Her breathing had returned to normal.

_Harry's okay. __He's my brother. He's my family. So is Draco. I have a family._

She closed her eyes and leaned against the trunk of her tree.

_It's almost time to leave. How can I go back to reality after this year? I have a family. I have friends. I have Snape. Well, no I don't. But I had him. _

_I belong here. Now I belong here. _

_I can't leave. I don't want to. But I have to. _

She opened her eyes and looked at the school grounds.

_At least things are okay with George. _The thought was barely comforting.


	35. Chapter 35

"How are you doing?"

Jane smiled at the familiar voice. She turned to see George as he walked towards her.

"I'm alright. A little nervous to leave actually." She said, not sure why she was telling him that. "How about you?"

"Same." He paused briefly before sitting down next to her in the great-hall. "Things are different now. They are never going to be the same now that Voldemort's back."

As he spoke he stared at the table in front of him, avoiding her face.

"Which is why we need to try harder to make things normal." He said, finally looking up to see her.

She nodded, squinting her eyes as she tried to read his implication.

"I'm sorry I was such a jerk to you." He said it, his voice small.

She smiled, extended a hand to his shoulder.

"It's okay. I'm sorry I didn't handle it better."

"Me too." He said, looking up at her smiling. "But I had better take off. Keep in touch, eh?"

He stood up, and began to walk away.

"Will do." She said, watching him walk away.

"See you in September."

* * *

"So are you all ready?"

Jane turned to see Neville approaching her. She stood in the common-room with her bags packed. It was leaving day.

"As ready as I'll ever be." She replied, trying to sound happy.

He reached her and put his arms around her, surprising her with the hug.

"What was that for?" She asked him once he had released her.

"I'm going to miss you." He said, his voice shaky.

"Me too." She said, her face falling into a frown.

"But I'll see you in September. And I'll write every week. You'll do the same?" He asked, sounding almost desperate.

She nodded, unable to tell him that she wasn't sure where she would be living yet.

"Promise?" He asked her

"Promise." She replied, smiling at him.

"I'm really going to miss you." He said again.

"Me too." She repeated.

She leaned into him and hugged him once again, kissing his cheek.

"Me too."

* * *

She sat in the back seat of a car. As it drove away from Hogwarts she caught one final glimpse of the school that had come to mean so much to her.

_I'__m going to miss it._


End file.
